Fresh Start February

 

   As we waved goodbye to a very sad and stressful January, we also welcomed in February with open arms.  We hope and pray that this month will be much kinder and gentler to us.  God knows that we need that in our lives right now.

   We are so very grateful for God's love and mercy, along with answered prayers.  One of my beloved uncles was hospitalized, fighting for his life.  The news was very bleak at first, but then came along a doctor who was able to help him at least get to the point where he was able to go home again.  My uncle is battling cancer and my sweet aunt has been there with him throughout all of it.  Please keep them both in your prayers.

   I have been battling some health issues, along with a very bad bout of the flu.  The flu is gone now, and I am trying to deal with the other things.  It has given me time to really rest, think, and realize that I have to take better care of myself and also give myself grace.  Superwoman I am not, and that is something that I have to remember. 😉

   Jeff and I have tackled some long overdue projects.  We are slowly getting our house back in order and doing more needed purging of things that we do now use or that have no sentimental value. We are also getting back into a routine once again and trying to get my sleep schedule back on track.  It has not only gone off the rails, but also took off on a vacation.  It likes to do this when I have been under a lot of stress.  It is both fibro related and another bad learned coping mechanism for me. 

   We are continuing to fill our box of things for our pop up tent trailer.  We have added a mini Ninja blender (gotta have that for adult beverages, along with smoothies and slushies for the grandkids) given to me by our Rachel, a coffee maker, paper plate holders, a really nice afghan that I got for $1.99 at the thrift store, food storage containers that with fit in the small refrigerator, cups, thermal mugs, plastic plates, forks and knives, and some other items.  I will continue to add to the big box as we go along.  I have made a list of all the items I want in there and luckily we have most of them on hand here at home.  There are just a few more that I need to purchase and I am looking at thrift stores for them.  I just cannot wait for camping season to start!😊

   Josh called me today and told me my youngest grandson has been sent home from his preschool on base for the 4th day in a row.   Apparently, they divided up his class and the teacher he really connected well with and would listen to, went with the other half of his former class and he had all new people there.  He has been running out of the room after his favorite teacher left  in order to get some of his energy out, which is an automatic "send the kid home" for the rest of the day rule.  Josh and Lauren understand that this is a big change for Tate and that he does not understand how to handle all of this at once.  They have been trying to find ways to deal with his behavior at school.  He does not act out in this manner at home (where he feels secure).  Tomorrow there will be a whole new group of teachers in his room and we hope it goes better with them.  Josh and Lauren are meeting with the new teachers and the counselor on Monday to come up with a plan to help Tate release some of that pent up energy he gets when he is not engaged in an activity.   Tate and I also had a talk about how it makes teachers sad and that they sometimes cry when kids are being mean to them.  I told him I used to be a teacher and that sometimes I would cry to because I tried so hard to be kind, understanding and teach the kids in my classes.  That really got to him, knowing that Grammie used to cry, and Josh helped him make the connection to how sad it made his teachers when he acted out.  Praying here that tomorrow will be a better day for everyone involved.  I did offer to come down if needed to help because I know my grandson well and that change is hard for him, along with him being way too smart, having lots of energy, and needing to be engaged in things.  I have worked with kids like him in the past and even have some of my own. ;)

   We did get some snow here in the last few days and I am enjoying the beauty of it.  Add about 3 inches to the picture at the top of the post and that is what I am currently looking at.  Jeff ended up taking our truck, with the four-wheel drive to work yesterday, just in case.  There were school closures and delays all over this area.  I have been more than happy to stay home, bake bread, make soup and other filling meals, and have Jeff pick up anything that we may need from the store.  Luckily for us, our pantry is well stocked and organized, so we do not have to pick up much.  While I was sick with the flu, I had Jeff pick up a Stouffers frozen lasagna, which I have not had in over 20 years now, and will never be buying another again.  It was awful and just ick!  It tasted like "fake" food to me.  I guess Jeff and I are just spoiled since I usually make my own here at home.  Anyone else have that experience with Stouffers?

    Well, the fur babies are trying to get my attention, so I had better get going.  They are cooped up here in the house along with me, and I know they want to be out on the back porch and the dog wants to be left out in the yard.  It is way too cold for that at the moment.  Be blessed my sweet friends and try to stay warm.

    

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

Thoughts, Thrifting and the Start of Healing

 

   Yes, I am finally popping my head back into my sweet blog.  It seems that this blog has been a long journey of emotions for 13 years now.  There have been such highs as we added our beautiful girls to our family and were blessed with 5 amazing, funny, smart and loving grandchildren.  If you have been reading my blog for any amount of time, you already know what the lows are and how that took a huge toll emotionally and even financially on our family and health-wise also for me. Throughout it all, our kid, grandkids, my brother Fritz and my parents grew even closer.  We were so blessed to have had my sister come for a visit several years ago, which meant everything to both she and I.  Now that she is battling cancer once more, it means even more to us.  We have strengthened our relationship and she has been blessed with a beautiful daughter who married into her family and a adorable granddaughter of her own.  She is now experiencing the same joy that I have been for all these years.  Grandchildren are the best!

   I am starting to finally let go of the pain of losing both Jeff's parents, his aunt Helen, and my cousin Jeremy.  There are still moments when I see something and here something that reminds me of my dear cousin and I want to pick up the phone and call him.  I know that is not possible, so I remind myself that I get to enjoy it for the both of us and that he would want me to have that giggle, stare in awe at a beautiful piece of art soaking it all in and continue to love on and enjoy the antics of Maggie Mae.  It has taken me a long time to get to this point and to also not shed a tear when I think of our one-of-a-kind Aunt Helen.  I am so very thankful for that short time we had with her.  As for Jeff's parents...I realized that I had been so worried about my husband and kids losing them that I had not taken the time to personally grieve for both his parents.  Jeff and I had many long talks, and I realized that I needed closure.  I think I finally got it by going to his grandparents' gravesite where his parents' ashes will be interned.  I had not been there is over 40 years, but I made a promise to his mom that I would make sure that Jeff and the kids would always know where it was.  It helped me to let go of the hurt and anger that I had towards them and let the love and good memories (and there were many of them) take their place within my heart.  It feels like a huge weight had been lifted off of me.

   Jeff and I have done some thrifting lately and have found many cool things.  We found the pair of pillows pictured above that will be a perfect birthday gift for our fishing and hunting crazy grandson Isaiah.  His room is decorated in that style, and I checked with Heather and she told me she thought he would love them.  So they shall be his!!!!  We also found some really good kneepads for Jeff, a brand new large soft and fuzzy throw blanket, a blender, a large coffee maker to keep in the tent trailer, a gorgeous planter, some clothing, a pretty basket, some picnic plate holders (again for the tent trailer), a small lantern that puts out a tremendous amount of light and an Ethan Allen decorating book.  I really enjoy that style and I think it may be genetic since that seems to have been something that even my great-grandmother loved.

   Jeff and I have been talking about how he wants to fully retire within the next few years, as soon as he can get his full retirement amount.  I have to look into when I can also start taking retirement and what time that will be to make the most of it.  We talked about what full retirement will look like and ways that we can save even more money as to make it possible sooner.  We have been thinking of side hustles, how to make the most of our garden and help it be more productive.  All of these things are very important for us.  We are getting better about not eating out at much.  I'm trying to make sure that we have some quick to make meals here on the ready at home.  Today I made two loaves of bread and took some homemade chicken noodle out of the freezer to make for dinner.  I also threw an acorn squash in the oven too bake so that I have that ready for another meal.  There are two bags of raspberries from our garden thawing on the counter and I will use them to make some raspberry infused gin (a huge favorite of mine and Chris').  It also makes great gifts for loved ones.  I had bought the bottles for it from Amazon awhile back and have also been collecting larger bottles with stoppers on them for keeping it in here at home.  I still have lots of fruit to use in this manner for both gin and vodka.  I would like to get it all made and ready for this year.  Between the blackberries and raspberry stash I have in the freezers, I should be able to make enough for a while year for myself and others.

   I hope that things are going well for all of you who read my ramblings.  As you can see, I am in a much better headspace now.  It has been a long time coming, but the sweet relief now that it is here is incredible.  Thank you to Jesus for your healing and to my amazing family and friend for loving me through it.  Be blessed all.                   

   

   

Another Loss

   Thank you all for your kindness and comments on my last blog post about Remmie.  You helped give me peace in that situation.  It was not an easy thing to have to do, but I know that it had to be done.

   Shortly after I posted by previous blog post, my husband got a call from his estranged sister.  I knew the minute that she called what it was about.  Their father had passed away and she was letting him know.

   My husband took it in his own stoic way.  We let our boys know and spent yesterday with our son Jaysn who asked us to join him for some bowling.  I think it was good for Jeff, Jaysn and I to be together.  Chris had to work, and Josh is in Utah and was working there as well.  Chris and Jeff talked, and Josh and I have been in contact with each other today.  It has been hard on all of us. 

   We had been cut off from Jeff's parents (their choice) for years.  It was not because of something we had done, but because of the actions of others.  Even though we had gone through the mourning process when that happened, the finality of his father's actual passing away hurts.  I'm not going into any more details than that other than to say we are going to take care to guard our own peace.  

   I am so very thankful for the closeness that we shared with our kids (that includes our "daughters" that married our sons) and our grandkids.  I am also grateful to my parents and siblings who love my hubby as their own and who have been there for all of us throughout the years.   I am very aware of how much a blessing that is.

New Year Ramble 2025

 

   A New Year is upon us and I want to thank all of you who have been with me for the encouragement, prayers, kind thoughts, suggestions and for your friendship.  I know I have not been good about responding to comments or posting on a regular basis.  This past year has been a rough one and the new year has gotten off to a rough start also.  Praying that things turn around here soon.

   As you know, we took in Jeff's Aunt Helen's cat Remmie.  Remmie and I came to be quite the team and spent most of our waking moments with her in my lap or lounging on the headrest of my recliner.  About 3 weeks ago, Remmie got mad at Jeff, or so we thought, and peed all over his recliner.  We did everything we could to clean that thing, even getting the stuff from the pet store that is supposed to take out the smell.  Nothing worked.  I resigned myself that we would have to start looking for a new recliner for Jeff.  Then, out of the blue, Remmie started peeing on my recliner also.  Again, we tried to get the smell out...nothing worked.  Every time we brought the chairs back into the house, she would pee on them again.  Knowing that there was a very good chance she would target more furniture, we made the very heartbreaking decision to have her put down.  She had destroyed Helen's house peeing everywhere and we had done the best we could to give her tons of love, but given her age (18 years old) and her continuing behavior, we did what had to be done, as difficult as it was.  That was on the 2nd of January.  Jeff and I will now start the search for new recliners for both of us.  Jeff is so tall and has long legs, so finding one that fits him comfortably is not an easy task.

   The weather here has been pretty dreary, except for a beautiful day when it snowed.  I realized that this is how my emotions have also been.  Christmas made me acutely aware of the heaviness I was feeling due to not having Jeremy and Helen with us anymore.  Having to let Remmie go just added to that feeling.  It's like depression is right under the surface and if it was not for my medications to help stabilize my moods, I would spiral downward.  I can recognize it for what it is and know that I have to find a way out of it.  My home has suffered as I have had way too many days of just being in my recliner (before Remmie peed all over it) or in bed, and not getting things done.  I am determined to get things turned around again.  My moments of joy have all come from spending time with my family and I feel like I need to do more of that.  We used to try to get together at least once a month and do something fun.  It was something we all looked forward to.  I need to take the lead in bringing that back.  I have the tools to dig my way out of this, I just need to use them.

   Onto happier things, Monday Heather will be trying to secure us cabins for this Summer at a reservoir that we all like to camp at.  We do have a backup plan if the cabins get booked before we can get them. Reservations for that campground open up Monday at 9 a.m.  The cabins are air conditioned, which is something I need given it will be during the heat of Summer and I do not do well with the heat.  Maggie will be going with us and I will have someone come in to check on the cats and water the gardens and hanging plants.

   Jeff is off with Chris doing a police ride along this afternoon.  It is something that both he and Chris have been looking forward to.  I hope they are having a good time together and that nothing big goes down.  Honestly, I don't know how Chris can keep his cool when dealing with some of the people that he comes into contact with, but he is ever the consummate professional and always does. I hear about these situations because he will call me to decompress and not take all the frustrations home with him at the end of his shift.  I count myself blessed that he has chosen Jeff and I, along with his twin brother Josh, to do this with.  It just shows me how tight our family bonds are. 😊

   So totally random thought, but is anyone looking forward to getting those seed catalogs in the mail?  My thoughts are already to Spring and getting things started early in the greenhouse.  Of course I can't do any of that right now, but I do like to see what is out there, plan my garden and order my seeds so that I have them in my hands when it IS time to get going.  This year I really want to tuck more flowers into little niches in my food producing garden beds to add color and to attract more pollinators.  Jeff and I are also going to add a second composting bin next to the one we have now so that we can fill that one up and use the compost in the bottom of the first bin.  I hope that made sense. Last year's garden was a bust for the most part other than the tomatoes.  I had a glut of those!

   Jeff and I bought a Jackery solar generator to have as a back up for his CPAP machine if the power goes out here at home and/ or to take camping.  Jeff found a wonderful deal that included one set of solar panels for half of the regular price.  I researched the particular model and found that it had great reviews and would fit out needs beautifully.  It would also be able to power our pellet stove, so that would be a great back up for that also since it is only permanent heat source.  We do have a Buddy Heater with extra propane canisters on hand for emergencies as well.  Even though we bought it on sale, it was still a big chunk of money for us.  We still need to buy more wood pellets for our stove, had to pay a large amount on my life insurance that we had taken a loan out on years ago and now need to replace our recliners as well.  At the moment, we are sharing the love seat with the dog given that we got rid of our couch to fit the recliners in that space.  We have a very small living room so we cannot fit lots of furniture into it without it becoming super crowded.  Time to really get down to trimming the budget!

   I have been trying to eat mostly out of the pantry, fridge and freezer.  I do buy a few things like milk, eggs, bagels, fresh produce and the occasional fully cooked and marked down whole chicken from the deli section (which I can stretch into at least 4 meals), but the bulk of what we are eating is stuff that we already have on hand.  I am trying really hard to limit our eating out.  I will admit that both Jeff and I are really bad about this.  I have told him I have some big goals for saving money this year and I really need him to get on board with me since it will build up our savings up again and hopefully we can take some of that money and use it for a nice little vacation for just the two of us, possibly going back up to Canada where we spent our honeymoon and took our boys one Thanksgiving.  It is special to us and I really want to go and explore the Lake Louise area since we have not done that yet.  This year is our 40th wedding anniversary and we both wanted to be able to do something special to celebrate.

   I guess I should end this post here on this positive note.  I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year!  Be blessed my sweet friends!