Last week the Creeping Crud (virus that is going around) caught me and has laid me up pretty good. Today was the first day that I have been able to really leave the house in about a week. We needed more groceries and I was looking for some cold weather snow bibs for Steven. No snow bibs found but we did get some great marked down deals on meat and baked goods. A few hours out of the house and I am now happy to be back home in comfy clothes sitting beside the warm pellet stove and listening to some calming music. I am one worn out sick chic. 😉
|Zion National Park|
Before I go any further on this post, I would like to ask for your prayers, good thoughts and anything else you can do for the people in California that have lost their homes, livestock, pets and friends and family in the terrible fires. The devastation is heartbreaking. We have a family friend who lives in Paradise and he escaped with his life. Within the last day or so found that his home is one of the few left standing and they say the only reason it was is because he had a large swatch of defendable cleared space around it. The pictures of how close the fire and what all is charred shows a clear circle around his place. David is one of the lucky ones. Many others have lost everything and the loss of life, which is the hardest thing, continues to climb. I am praying that our friend Bless, who is also a blogger down near the other big fire, is okay also.
It has turned really cold here and that is affecting my Fibromyalgia and making me flare more often. My body reacts to the cold by stiffening up big time and it can be quite painful. The weather patterns also get me every time. I'm also experiencing new symptoms that can pop up with Fibro. I am now up to 168 symptoms with the latest being feeling like you have bugs crawling on you. YUCK!
My mind is also slowly releasing bits of information about my past that I have kept locked away because they have just been too much and too painful for me to deal with. I now understand why I have kept these things tucked away for so long. If everything had come out all at once, I would have had a total mental breakdown I am sure. It has brought back all those old feelings of insecurity, feeling unwanted, used, terrified and a hurt that is so deep that you can get pulled down into the depths of the whirlpool of despair if you do not have a loving support team around you as you process it all. With each new morsel of information being released though it is like grieving for the childhood me and for the effect that it still has on my life today. It is an exhausting and extremely painful process but one that is necessary and that I hope will help me to heal. It really has helped me to realize why I am the way I am and why I have Fibromyalgia, Anxiety, Depression, PTSD and OCD among other things. I am praying that I can overcome many of the things that are going on with me...it would be nice to not have to deal with so much all the time.
Even in the midst of all of this there are still moments of great joy though. I've been able to spend time with Jaysn, Rachel and Steven (who were also sick) and get lots of little boy cuddles, smiles, laughter and still feel very needed. Jeff has been helping Chris and Heather build their home and apparently Isaiah could not get enough time with G-pa and wanted to be his helper this past weekend so he did. That made Jeff so happy and filled his "love tank" to overflowing. Evenings spent cuddled up under fleece throws usually find a purring cat (or two) on my lap at any given moment. Lots of hearty meals have been enjoyed like homemade stew and split pea soup with ham followed by ice cream with homemade huckleberry topping. I'm finally back to being able to make bread again for Jeff and I am enjoying that. Some of my favorite Fall themed pictures have once again found themselves back up on the walls so I can enjoy them and the more Summery ones are put away until it is time to switch things out again. It's funny how little things like that can mean so much to me, but they do. I need to end this post now and try to convince Caesar that it is time to come in from the cold since the sun is getting lower in the sky and the temperature is dropping quickly. Be blessed!
It's a very blustery day here with gusting winds and I am so thankful to be inside where it is warm. Even the fur babies are wanting to be inside for the most part. I'm hoping things calm down earlier than when our high winds warning is set to expire because we need to go shopping this afternoon and high winds blowing my car around gives me anxiety.
The high winds actually remind me of our lives lately. I feel like we have been in a whirlwind of activity (good stuff really) and the wind has been knocking me around. ;) I'm thankful for the cooler weather, the rain and even the wind because it is refreshing after all the heat, dust and even smoke from this Summer. At the same time though, I want calm weather (physically and metaphorically) so that I can recover from all the wonderful activity and special times we shared with family recently. Yes, I get worn out easily but it was so worth it! :)
I spent the first part of this week on the couch for the most part napping on and off during the day. Then came the insomnia once again. Such is life with Fibromyalgia. This used to frustrate me to no end, but I have come to accept that this is my "normal" and I just try to be flexible and not beat myself up over it. I was starting to go a bit stir crazy though and so was Rachel, so she and I took a short trip into town the other day with Steven so that she could pick up some new jeans and get some "comfort food" from the Co-op. I really enjoyed my time with both her and Steven and it was really good to get out for awhile. I love having them still living here in town.
Once again, I forgot to keep daily track of my frugal doings so I am going to do my best to try and remember some of what I did this week...wish me luck!
~made a pasta dish with free sausages, tomatoes and squash from the garden, some homemade tomato powder (from last year's abundant tomato crop) and some sale priced pasta from the pantry that ended up making 3 meals for Jeff and I
~divided up a packaged of reduced price thin cut pork chops into 2 meal sized portions and cooked up one of those portions and froze the other for a future meal
~made homemade pancakes and added huckleberries to them that needed to be used up from the freezer
~my parents did "Christmas" gifts from them when they were here on Saturday...Mom made Jeff a really nice and cozy bowling themed quilt, Dad gave us all wreaths and Mom gave me a Christmas wall hanging that she made along with some cozy pig socks and her old smart phone (she got a newer one and this is an upgrade for me too)
~my parents also treated us to dinner and lunch
~I received a coupon for $10 off at Staples which I will be using today to stock up on more toilet paper (I am a very practical person) ;)
~I found packages of new underwear in my size at Goodwill and bought 2 of them to replace some of mine that have seen better days and needed to be replaced
~Goodwill was also the recipient of 2 bags of donations from us and I gave my 20% off coupon that I received to Rachel to help offset the cost of something she was buying there
~I picked up some free produce from the "sharing" table here in town
~we have been enjoying watching "Everybody Loves Raymond" (we bought several seasons of it on dvd at Goodwill when they were half priced) at night when I can't sleep
~I uploaded some digital coupons onto my Safeway card and to my Winco account
~more syrup was made because we were running out
~I used some leftover mashed potatoes to make potato cheese soup with
~Jeff and I gave all the grandboys the superhero capes we bought them in Las Vegas and they had a wonderful time running around the park in them with their capes flying out behind them...some of the best entertainment for them and us ever :)
~I finally got my cold weather clothing all organized and into my dresser and sorted through things purging like mad along the way. It made me realize just how many items of clothing that I have that I no longer wear and that could "go away" and that I really did not need much of anything more other than the new underwear I just bought
~Jeff stocked us up on the batteries that we use most often in our flashlights and remote controls while they were on sale
~Rachel and Jaysn's refrigerator and freezer is much smaller than the one they had at their old rental so they are storing some of their freezer items in our big freezer out in the garage
~I have been doing my best to try and use what we have on hand to make meals with...we did however order a chicken strip basket from the tavern to share on night for dinner earlier in the week when I was really struggling with my energy levels
I know there has got to be more but at the moment I am drawing a complete blank. I really do need to get back into the habit of writing things down daily. Praying for a relaxing weekend for you all!