Thoughts, Thrifting and the Start of Healing

 

   Yes, I am finally popping my head back into my sweet blog.  It seems that this blog has been a long journey of emotions for 13 years now.  There have been such highs as we added our beautiful girls to our family and were blessed with 5 amazing, funny, smart and loving grandchildren.  If you have been reading my blog for any amount of time, you already know what the lows are and how that took a huge toll emotionally and even financially on our family and health-wise also for me. Throughout it all, our kid, grandkids, my brother Fritz and my parents grew even closer.  We were so blessed to have had my sister come for a visit several years ago, which meant everything to both she and I.  Now that she is battling cancer once more, it means even more to us.  We have strengthened our relationship and she has been blessed with a beautiful daughter who married into her family and a adorable granddaughter of her own.  She is now experiencing the same joy that I have been for all these years.  Grandchildren are the best!

   I am starting to finally let go of the pain of losing both Jeff's parents, his aunt Helen, and my cousin Jeremy.  There are still moments when I see something and here something that reminds me of my dear cousin and I want to pick up the phone and call him.  I know that is not possible, so I remind myself that I get to enjoy it for the both of us and that he would want me to have that giggle, stare in awe at a beautiful piece of art soaking it all in and continue to love on and enjoy the antics of Maggie Mae.  It has taken me a long time to get to this point and to also not shed a tear when I think of our one-of-a-kind Aunt Helen.  I am so very thankful for that short time we had with her.  As for Jeff's parents...I realized that I had been so worried about my husband and kids losing them that I had not taken the time to personally grieve for both his parents.  Jeff and I had many long talks, and I realized that I needed closure.  I think I finally got it by going to his grandparents' gravesite where his parents' ashes will be interned.  I had not been there is over 40 years, but I made a promise to his mom that I would make sure that Jeff and the kids would always know where it was.  It helped me to let go of the hurt and anger that I had towards them and let the love and good memories (and there were many of them) take their place within my heart.  It feels like a huge weight had been lifted off of me.

   Jeff and I have done some thrifting lately and have found many cool things.  We found the pair of pillows pictured above that will be a perfect birthday gift for our fishing and hunting crazy grandson Isaiah.  His room is decorated in that style, and I checked with Heather and she told me she thought he would love them.  So they shall be his!!!!  We also found some really good kneepads for Jeff, a brand new large soft and fuzzy throw blanket, a blender, a large coffee maker to keep in the tent trailer, a gorgeous planter, some clothing, a pretty basket, some picnic plate holders (again for the tent trailer), a small lantern that puts out a tremendous amount of light and an Ethan Allen decorating book.  I really enjoy that style and I think it may be genetic since that seems to have been something that even my great-grandmother loved.

   Jeff and I have been talking about how he wants to fully retire within the next few years, as soon as he can get his full retirement amount.  I have to look into when I can also start taking retirement and what time that will be to make the most of it.  We talked about what full retirement will look like and ways that we can save even more money as to make it possible sooner.  We have been thinking of side hustles, how to make the most of our garden and help it be more productive.  All of these things are very important for us.  We are getting better about not eating out at much.  I'm trying to make sure that we have some quick to make meals here on the ready at home.  Today I made two loaves of bread and took some homemade chicken noodle out of the freezer to make for dinner.  I also threw an acorn squash in the oven too bake so that I have that ready for another meal.  There are two bags of raspberries from our garden thawing on the counter and I will use them to make some raspberry infused gin (a huge favorite of mine and Chris').  It also makes great gifts for loved ones.  I had bought the bottles for it from Amazon awhile back and have also been collecting larger bottles with stoppers on them for keeping it in here at home.  I still have lots of fruit to use in this manner for both gin and vodka.  I would like to get it all made and ready for this year.  Between the blackberries and raspberry stash I have in the freezers, I should be able to make enough for a while year for myself and others.

   I hope that things are going well for all of you who read my ramblings.  As you can see, I am in a much better headspace now.  It has been a long time coming, but the sweet relief now that it is here is incredible.  Thank you to Jesus for your healing and to my amazing family and friend for loving me through it.  Be blessed all.