I know that I have not been online much visiting my blogging friends. The hot weather has my sleep cycle messing up big time. Yes, it was screwed up before, but now it is even worse. Instead of fighting it, I've just been going with the flow. I've been getting to sleep about 4 in the morning and sleeping until 10 a.m. for the most part. Some days it is more, some days it is less. It is not restful sleep by any means, but I'll take what I can get. 😉
I will totally admit that when the temperatures heat up, my motivation to do much of anything goes straight out the window. I used to feel terribly guilty about that, but have learned that all that does is stress me out even more. I'm giving myself the gift of just taking a break from almost everything and just doing whatever my body and mind feel like and can actually do for the day.
Yesterday was actually a "good day" and I made the last minute decision to drive Rachel and Steven in to drop off the keys to one of their vehicles that was having trouble at the repair shop instead of just loaning her my car. Since it was Monday, we decided to stop at the Goodwill also to find Steven some more clothes. They had just changed over the half off color tag of the week the day before and we could also use my 20% off senior discount. We found him some cute shirts and shorts, Rachel found some Lularoe things for her and I found a dvd series set, a beautiful Brighton wallet and a night light thing for Steven. While in town, we also stopped at Winco to pick up a few groceries before heading home.
Today is a slow day...one where my mind is not clear like it was yesterday. This is a day where I would not trust myself to drive my car, even just a few blocks. We have high heat outside along with haze from the fires burning south of us. The swamp cooler is going and keeping us cool inside though. I am so thankful that we cannot smell the smoke or I would not be able to use the swamp cooler and that would make it miserably stuffy, hot and uncomfortable in here. I'm staying inside until later this evening when things cool down and then I will go out and water the gardens.
Sometimes we all just need a break. It is good for us to give ourselves permission to take some time to just go with the flow and not feel guilty about it. It is a time of refreshing, healing and practicing "self care". I used to be such a "Type A" person and had a hard time now learning to accept my limitations without feeling guilty about it. I still have my moments of self doubt, anger and mourning the "old me", but for the most part, I am learning to just go with the flow because there are so many things that are beyond my control. Life for me is better this way and one that my doctor has been advising me to live for quite awhile now. I feel calmer and actually more in control of my life this way if that makes any sense at all.
Jeff should be getting up here soon so I will end this post so I can spend time with him before he has to head back out into this heat wave again tonight for work. God bless that man of mine for being so hard working, caring, protective and supportive of me. He fully encourages me to do whatever I need to do to be the best me I can be on any given day or even moment to moment. Yesterday he was excited for me that I was having such a rare good day where I had energy and a clear head and that I could go and spend the afternoon with Rachel and Steven running errands. He also understood when I got home and it had all caught up with me and I needed to rest. I am blessed!