Ok, anybody else feel like some kind of owl that has been blown off course into some thick smoky haze and lost it's way while living in some freaky parallel universe? No, just me? My goodness, between the whole Covid-19 cases going up and up here thanks to partying college students at WSU and now smoke filled skies from all the wildfires that make my throat hurt, gives me headaches and has me coughing (yes, from the smoke, not the virus), I have been locked in my home for days on end. If I go outside at all, it is for a quick dash to go to the garage to pull something out of the freezer or tonight, going outside in my bathrobe to pick the ripe cherry tomatoes (took me all of 2 minutes to do so and I am paying for it now). I was desperate to get outside and that was my excuse to do so. 😜 In retrospect, it probably was not the best idea I have ever had.
I have lost track of what day it is and even time has been flipped upside down for me. I am now up all night long and don't even get to sleep until around 6 a.m. (when Jeff usually gets home from work). I had worked so hard to get myself back to going to sleep by 3 a.m., but that has all been blow right out the door with all this. My fibromyalgia is flaring big time so I also find myself in bed for most of the afternoon and evening. I need to stretch out on the bed a lot. When Jeff is home on the weekends and we try to go to sleep at a normal time at night I find myself retreating to the guest bedroom to sleep in there for the first part of the night because any time he moves or turns in his sleep sends pains shooting through my ribcage. I eventually find my way back to our bed in the morning and it is not long until he gets up and I sleep for the next 4-6 hours. At least I am able to sleep for longer stretches of time once I actually fall asleep. For while there I could not even do that. Yep, my sleep is all screwed up again. Oh how I hate fibro affects sleep and the pain that comes with it.
My mind has turned to mush and I cannot concentrate on anything for long. I find myself literally getting up and down out of my chair or bed constantly. Jeff keeps asking me if I want to watch a movie, but I can't concentrate long enough to do so. YouTube is my friend because I stop the videos when I want to even if they are just a few minutes long. I have a big stack of books that I want to read...nope, can't read more than a page at a time before I have to put it aside. Genealogy projects have been put on hold for this very reason event though I really really want to get them done and find them interesting. It is just too much information for my foggy and discombobulated brain to sort through at the moment.
Jeff can see the toll this is taking on me. Yesterday he suggested that as soon as some of the smoke lifts that we go do some shopping and pick up some more fresh produce and dairy products. He knows that at this point, even a ride in the car would be helpful but the smoke is just too thick and takes too big a toll on me. I feel bad for him because he has to work in this stuff and has been putting in long days since the other driver he delivers to and splits the route with down in Walla Walla's truck is in the shop. They are having to run the route together making it longer for both of them. Yesterday was a 10 1/2 hour day for him. 😟 He is also trying to pick all the blackberries for me at home (which are loaded) and still trying to get the hot tub fixed so we can use it once the air clears out. While he worries about me, I worry about him.
At this point there is nothing either he, nor I, can do to change any of the circumstances that we find ourselves in. All we can do is out best to try and get through this together. I am just so grateful that we do have each other or I would be completely lost.