Wednesday, November 29, 2017

It Feels Good to Let Go and Be Happy!

 
Our beloved kids and grandkids all together with us in September.  These are Jeff and my treasures!


   For years and years I have dreaded certain birthdays, special occasions and holidays.  What should have been times of celebrations turned into weeks leading up the the actual occasion of stress for me.  That lead to depression, anxiety and panic attacks.  Not anymore!  😁

   This Thanksgiving was the first time that I have been able to really enjoy myself and not be filled with worry, anxiety, guilt, anger, dread and emotional pain.  It feels great!  What led to this?  Letting go.

   My husband and I finally not only made the decision, but followed through on letting go of the toxic relationships we had with certain members of my husband's family.  We have ignored the game playing, sending of junk mail (what is up with that?) to us and manipulation tactics.  We did not send birthday cards, nor will we send Christmas cards to them.  There will be no phone calls, no flowers or Christmas gifts sent to them this year.  They made a decision to cut us out of their lives but then certain parties try to suck us back in.  We will no longer be pawns in their games.  Apparently that has not sit well with some of them and you know what...we don't care.

   It certainly took us long enough to get to this point and to realize that we not only can but need to be free from all the toxicity that they brought into our lives.  Looking back we can now see the patterns and the games that have been played for years.  It feels good to finally be free from all of that.

   So here is to happier times!  Here is to focusing on friends and family that mean the most to us!  Here is to soaking in all the love, laughter and goodness in our lives.  Here's to freedom from toxic situations!  Here's to life!

24 comments:

  1. Good for you. Drama and toxic people are not needed in our lives.
    It may be hard, but sometimes we just have to cut people out of our lives to save our sanity.
    Have a good one. (Such a nice looking family)

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    1. Thanks Cheryl and you are right about cutting out the toxic people. I was literally dancing around the house today...I think I scared the dog! ;) LOL!

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  2. I understand that it was hard, and will still be at times. I'm glad that you are reaping the rewards for this decision. Letting go is sometimes the best.

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    1. Thanks Wendi! I feel like this huge dark cloud and weight has been lifted off of us. It feels wonderful!

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  3. Hi Debbie!
    We had to do the same with some of my family. They were toxic to us in so many ways and every year, instead of enjoying Christmas, I dreaded it, because I knew we had to see them and hear their sarcasm and falsehood.
    When we finnaly got to the conclusion that we had to let go of them, although it hurted, it was the best thing to do.
    I was sooooo relieved, it was like I could breathe again, like if a huge weight had been lifted from our shoulders.
    And after a while, they saw that we cut them off from our lives and they stoped trying to suck us back in.
    It's sad, but it's the best thing to do. Like the Bible says, "Do not give dogs what is holy; do not throw your pearls before swine. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces." Mathew 7:6
    That beautiful family in that picture and the ones that really love you and Jeff, are the ones that are good for you and for your health!
    :)

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    1. Hi Paula, I'm sorry you went through something like this also. I love the bible verse you quoted...it is so true and accurate and that is what happened to us for years before we were just DONE! Be blessed my friend!

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  4. Good for you! Life will be much more peaceful now. They sent you junk mail??? lol they had way too much time on their hands!

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    1. Hi Penny and yes, they actually sent us junk mail. It was at that point that we just looked at each other and realized just how ridiculous and petty this person had become.

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  5. life is short and needs to be enjoyed and we can't enjoy if we are around people that takes away that joy. Some people instead of bringing joy to our lives they bring misery. Glad you and your husband made a good decision on bringing closer to you those that brings peace and love to your lives.

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    1. Thanks Angela. We actually went out for dinner last night to celebrate finally being "free" from all of this drama. ;)

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  6. I had to do the same with my own mother -- when I did that - I had to give up contact with siblings too - which also led to nieces and nephews...that was okay though on the siblings and extended family - they only talked to me when they wanted something. My mother is very toxic to me - used my information to take out a line of credit in my name...ugh -- that is all behind me now and I live a much more peaceful life.

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    1. Oh my goodness Meme, I am so very sorry your mother did that to you. How awful! I am glad you are no longer in contact with her.

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  7. I decided a long time ago to not spend time with people I do not enjoy. This helps alot.

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    1. Good for you! Because they were "family", I had a warped sense of guilt thinking that I had to give them chance after chance, no matter how badly they hurt us. Not anymore. :)

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  8. Cheering you and Jeff on! Great photo of all your kids and grands.
    I've been in a similar place but with a friend the last few months. I was searching on 'toxic friends' on google to help deal with my friend who just moved. While reading some of the posts, I had an 'ah-ha' moment. Something along the lines of --if I'm searching on this topic, I already know what I need to do!! End the friendship. Ha! It took me some time, but I got there.
    Be blessed my friend. You certainly look happy in the photo!
    SJ

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    1. (((((HUGS)))) SJ, I did the same thing searching similar terms about the ones who are no longer in my life...I'm so glad you are a much quicker learner than I am. It took me years to realize what it took you much shorter to learn. ;) Be blessed my friend!

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  9. I enjoy reading your blog. You have a nice family, and you all look very happy to be spending time together. I'm glad you had a nice Thanksgiving, and I hope you have a Merry Christmas!

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    1. Thank you so very much! You are very sweet. :) I hope you have a Merry Christmas as well!

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  10. Glad you had a fun Thanksgiving with the family, Debbie. Sounds like you made the right decisions when it comes to family and your own happiness and well being. :)

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    1. Thank you Bless. I feel so much lighter now. :)

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  11. Good for you! Btdt. You are not alone in your feelings, and as you can see no one has said they regret cutting someone toxic out of their lives. Consider this your Christmas present to yourself Debbie. Stay at peace amongst those you truly love and who love you in return.

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    1. Thank you Doreen...that is a very good way to view it. :) Be blessed and have a lovely weekend!

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  12. It is very liberating, isn't it? Hard decisions have their own rewards. I'm so happy to hear you had such a wonderful holiday. Christmas will be nice as well. Enjoy the season.

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    1. Thank you my friend! I'm heading over to get caught up on my blog reading and your blog is my first stop tonight. :)

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