Friday, May 18, 2012

Difficult People in Our Lives

I have a feeling that most people can relate to what I am about to share...having to deal with "difficult people" in our lives.  Some of those people take the form of bullies and even as adults continue to take great pleasure in hurting others.  Others take the form of passive aggressive people who make snide little comments or work "behind the scenes" causing turmoil all the while trying to appear "nice".  Then there are the "users"...these are the people that will be kind to you when they want something from you and then when they get it, they have no more use for you.  These 3 kinds of people (and I know there are many more kinds also that hurt others) destroy friendships, families and can also hurt you in the working environment. 

Having been raised in a family where we fought but settled things, forgave and moved on and always had the fiercest protective loyalty to one another even when we were not getting along, I find it hard to be involved in situations where people purposefully continue to try to hurt others, especially once they are adults.  I find it morally reprehensible when people lie and try to destroy others to make themselves look better.  Worst of all is when this happens within a family.  I find it so sad and maddening that someone would be willing to destroy their own family, just to make themselves feel "better" or "superior".  

After banging my head against a wall and trying to figure out "why" people act this way I have come to the conclusion that there really is no explanation for it...some people are just "not wired right" and can't see beyond themselves.  They live in a ME ME ME universe and don't understand that it is not all about them.  They want to "win" at any cost (and sometimes the collateral damage that they leave in their wake is devastating).  What they do not realize is that while they are busy reeking havoc on those around them, they are also destroying themselves.  The truth always has a way of coming out and all the "damage control" they try to do is not going to save them.  Eventually they will be exposed for who they really are and NO ONE is going to trust them.  They will lose the very people in their lives that mean the most to them because of their selfish behavior.  

If you find yourself in this kind of situation my first word of advice is to set healthy boundaries.  You do not need to put up with this kind of behavior from anyone. Next, protect the kids.  If there are children involved, you need to do everything within your power to protect them, encourage them and be there for them.  Finally, be good to yourself and those around you.  Try to focus on the positive things in life, surround yourself with people that are there for you and love you, and return that love to them.  Life is too short to have to continually deal with difficult people so for those you can so and pray for them...they must be miserable inside to treat others they way they do.


  1. Thank you for your thoughts. I have this in my life and your thoughts on it help.


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