Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Facing Reality and Planning for the Future

   Jeff and I sat down and had a heart to heart talk about aging, health, our future and things that need to be done to make this house work for our changing needs and stages in our lives.  We would love to be able to move to Idaho, but we have to be realistic at this time and figure that we will most likely be here for many more years, possibly for the rest of our lives.  With only one of us able to work outside the home and both of us having health issues (him with degenerative disk disease, foot problems and tendonitis), we have to face the facts that we cannot keep up on the gardens the way they are now, and the house needs some modifications to help me on those days when I am having trouble walking and climbing stairs.  I will never be healed of CFS and Fibromyalgia and find that as I age, things are getting worse, not better for me.  Now that our home is fully paid off, that leaves us some money to tackle some of the projects that have been put on hold.

   The first thing on the priority list to to rebuild the front steps coming into our home.  They are currently a one piece cement monstrosity that is crumbling.  The stair rise is also too high for me and for our youngest grandkids.  On days that I am in lots of pain, getting up or down those things is exhausting and painful.  I asked Jeff if when he tears out the old concrete ones, if he could change the rise of the stairs to make it easier for me and for the grandkids.  That will mean at least one more stair, but the rise will be shorter per stain and that will make it nicer for us all.  He offered to just put in a long ramp, but I told him I am not ready to admit total defeat yet. 😉 

   The next thing on our list to to redo the back screened in porch, tearing off the old plywood and, if we can swing it, redoing it with Trex Deck and also rebuilding the stairs up to it.  The ones there now are super thin and both Jeff and I have slipped on them in the past,  We used the porch about 8 months out of the year and I want it to be nice for us and our family (both human and furbabies).

   The third item on my list is the gardens.  It is getting harder for me to bend over to plant and harvest things.  My back freezes up and then spasms.  Weeding is extremely painful for me and Jeff has had to take over doing that.  He has back problems too.  What I proposed was that we put in raised beds where we can sit on the sides, to plant, harvest and even weed.  We will have walkways between the beds that are covered with a weed barrier and either gravel or wood chips.  This will cut the area that we have to weed way down also.  I would also like a small greenhouse to start things in and also extend the growing season.  As Jeff retires (in about 10 years), we are going to have to live on much less income so I am looking forward to ways to help cut our cost and growing more of our own food is a good and healthy way to do so.

   Pets...we love our fur babies and they are part of our family, but they can be expensive.  Caesar is HUGE and eats a lot.  Our 3 cats are on an expensive food due to Doofy's allergies and go through a lot of cat litter.  Before I go on, let me say that we are not planning on giving away any of them.  This is their forever home and I hope they will be with us for a good long time to come.  Realistically though, as they pass away, I am thinking that we may not get another dog, as much as I love having one.  Caesar is a lot of work and needs to be walked, makes a huge mess of the backyard and produces a lot of dog messes that need to be cleaned up.  Jeff is the one who has to handle that and I would like to make it so he does not have to do that after Caesar is gone.  I am also thinking 2 cats would be reasonable since they could keep each other company and do not require as much work as a dog.  That would also leave us free to go somewhere overnight, just setting out extra food and water, whereas right now we have to hire someone to come in and take care of our fur baby tribe due to the dog's needs.


   I know that we are also going to have to add "grab bars" to the walls in our bathroom as this is also becoming an issue for me on some days.  It will also make it easier for my father when he visits on those days when he is having a rough time. He has come back so far from his stroke, but on days when he is tired, he needs some extra help too.  He and my mother come and stay with us at least twice, if not more, a year so I want everything in place for him as well as for Jeff and I.

   Carpets still need to be ripped out and replaced in all 3 bedrooms and I am hoping our boys can help with that huge project.  We have the carpet but just have not had the time or manpower to get it all done.  All the furniture needs moved out, carpets ripped up, floors sealed and then new padding and carpet installed.  We may just have to hire someone to do the carpets and I just have the kids help us move all the furniture out to the porch and then back in again when the weather is good.  I can't lift any of the stuff anymore and Jeff should not try to do it all by himself.

   So there is my list so far.  Not all of these things will be done right away.  The stairs do have to get done this Spring or Summer though, for safety reasons if nothing else.  Between aging, health and finances, we have to prioritize big time.   It will get done, slowly but surely.

   

 


28 comments:

  1. I added bars to all my bathrooms years ago and every time we replace a faucet or a handle it is handicap. Take care.

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    1. Thank you. I think we are going to continue to do that too. :)

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  2. This getting older takes some prep and you are wise to be thinking about it.
    We have a shower with a seat. We also put a wide door on another bathroom, chair height toilets in both and bars by one toilet as we have one family member in a wheel chair.

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    1. It sounds like you are well prepared. We are looking at replacing toilets as they need to be replaced with higher ones also. My grandkids may have to use a stool to get up on them but I already have a stool in the bathroom for them so they can wash their hands at the sink. A couple of years ago we replaced the cabinet in our master bathroom and I asked my husband to make it higher so we did not have to bend down so far. He had a bottom drawer unit that fit under the cabinet made and it added much needed storage and the height. It really makes things easier for both of us.

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    2. Higher toilets are a must! We have replace them in the last two homes we have lived in. It makes all the difference. My husband has a bad back and I have many health challenges and we love the higher toilets. Then when you go some place with lower toilets it's like - what the heck, this is hard to get up from. lol. Take care.

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    3. Crystal, we just found a new toilet seat riser thing at the Goodwill this weekend and installed it. It sure came in handy after I fell and hurt myself.

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  3. we added bars several years ago in bathroom and in a couple doorways to help hubs. We had a friend install. They aren't hard to do - as long as you hit studs. I bought for a good price at Menards.

    Our back steps were re-done with 4" high risers. Many members of family with problems and they are great for all. Also had nice handrail put in on the steps.

    Little things can help so much.

    I would love raised beds with setting area. Someday that will be a given for me.

    Take dear and you will accomplish these things as you go.

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    1. Hi Cheryl, I'll bet your hubby really appreciates those bars and the stairs also. Today is a good day and I am not having trouble with our stairs but a few days ago, they were extremely hard to get up.

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  4. About your new front steps: my house in Seattle had both a ramp and steps. The ramp was a two part -zig-zag shape and ran the whole width of the front room and then an equal leg into the yard and front sidewalk. We also cut steps into it at the front door. Don't really know how to explain it-- but I was only in my 40s then and loved it!
    We could wheel in deliveries or groceries or young kids. OR take the stairs if we wanted. And it went over the cement stairs that were original to the house. The setup was there when the house was bought so I didn't have anything to do with the construction, and thankfully didn't tear it all out when I moved in.
    Long story to say perhaps you could design both a ramp and stairs.
    Cheers, SJ

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    1. That does sound like a wonderful idea my friend! Thank you for sharing!

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  5. Debbie all the things you have mentioned are good things. They also value add to your home. When looked at as a whole they seem overwhelming. However you are looking long term and not at having all of these jobs done overnight. The grab bars are a fantastic idea. We have them in the toilet and at the laundry and kitchen entrance into the house. We only have the one step at these doors but the grab bar makes a difference to ease of getting in and out.
    Bluey and I know that we will have to look at changing our bathroom and replacing our 30 year old kitchen. These are projects we are saving towards and will happen within the next 10 years.
    I think this is just a reality of us getting older and looking at our future needs. It also means our homes will be places of ease and comfort. If we have these things in place our children dont have to worry about us. I think all the things you have mentioned are good things.

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    1. I had not thought of grab bars near the entrances to rooms...what a great idea! I know that we are going to have to remodel the guest bathroom again as we age and add a big walk in shower in place of the deep soaking tub that is in there now. We won't do that for awhile though as we still have a smaller walk in shower in our tiny master bath.

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  6. Hi Debbie!
    Unfortunatelly, with some health problems, some changes have to be made sooner or later.
    One thing you can do in your garden, is have also low maintenance plants.
    You can search online for plants that don't require too much waterering or gardening.
    God will give you and Jeff, the means and the wisdom to make the better choices.
    Have a great week!
    :)

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    1. Thank you Paula. :) Except for our food producing plants and trees, all the other plants are low maintenance. Most of what we grow though are food producing. It really does help cut our food costs tremendously. Be blessed my friend!

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  7. Hi again,
    Forgot to mention that my cousin used galvanized stock tanks for her raised gardens. They already had the drain hole. The ones she used were very tall so she didn't have to bend over.
    SJ

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    1. That is a great idea! Thank you. I replied to your emails finally. ;)

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  8. Indeed it comes a time in our lives that we need to think all things seriously and make plans. I hate making plans because I think I might change my mind later but one needs to plan and here at our house we need to do that sooner rather than later. Wishing all the best Debbie and may the Lord bless you all now and the future.

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    1. Thank you Angela, I pray the same for you as well. :)

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  9. May God bless you and guide you. Unfortunately, we all face challenges as we age. I don't know what the long-term results of my cancer are going to be, but I think we'll be doing some downsizing in terms of stuff and dreams.

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    1. Still praying for total recovery health and energy wise for you my friend. I think downsizing of stuff and dreams is something that we are all facing...I know we are. Much love to you!

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  10. You are so wise to be considering these things now, and looking into the future. Fixing the steps will be a wonderful thing for you to do. It is nice to be able to plan ahead for these kinds of expenses! Hugs to you today :)

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    1. Thank you Marilyn. :) I hope you are all snug and warm up North. It looks like you all got hammered with more snow according to the news.

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  11. We had put in the walk-in huge shower and 2 shower heads at the previous house, because we basically rebuilt it--huge remodel. It was great, even though we did not exactly need it. :). We had been looking toward the future. We wondered if aging parents would need to move in eventually. But.....now we live here. There are already grab bars in the bathroom, but the tub would be almost impossible to get into if you were struggling. There is only one bathroom, and there's no room for a large shower. So, eventually, we'd love to build another bathroom on, if we stay here long enough to save up for it. :). We may be tottering around by then, but it's always great to make plans.

    I am glad you have so many good plans to ease things up once you retire.

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    1. Thanks Becky. I'm sorry you had to leave the old house after doing all the remodeling on it.

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  12. It's good that you are thinking about these things now and planning to put them in place before you need to, Debbie. I had a grab bar installed in one bathroom, after my mother fell and broke her hip. I didn't need to replace the toilet as her doctor prescribed a toilet commode that could be placed over the regular toilet; it had side arms that she could hold and it could have been used in the bedroom, too, if needed. After she died, I kept it for use if there was an earthquake and we needed a portable toilet! My back steps have a railing, but I am thinking the front steps could do with a railing or grab bar! Something to think about.

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    1. Hi Bless, we were able to find a toilet seat riser thing that goes directly on your toilet and you add your own toilet seat on top of it. We only used one of the handles since it is a small bathroom, but that one handle next to the wall really does help. After I took a fall on Monday, it really was nice to have it on that side since I hurt my knee, foot and my elbow.

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