Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Thankfulness, Living Within My Limits and Being Kind to Myself

 


 
Bradley and Isaiah being monkey boys!

This morning I woke up after a bad night with very little sleep.  I am in the middle of a pretty painful and draining Fibro flare/crash.  Today is day 4 of it and I am thankful that I have a bit more energy today than I did yesterday.  Yesterday was a very bad, no good day where everything hurt and I felt like my body was weighted down with lead.  Just watering the gardens took everything out of me, and I used sprinklers to do it along with some hand watering.

   As I sat down to write this post, I got a notification from Melanie at Road to the Farm on Youtube that she had uploaded a video.  Melanie also has Fibromyalgia and her video today was about trusting in God when we have flares/crashes and knowing that even when we get behind on things, He is there and will take care of us.  Melanie and I have a lot in common.  We both tend to push way too hard when we are having good days and then pay for it with crashes. Learning our limits is hard.  I love how God orchestrated her posting her video at the same time that I was sitting down to write a post on this subject.  I believe that His timing is perfect and that it was meant to be this way so that she and I could lift each other up and encourage one another as we walk this path.  I am so thankful for Melanie being willing to share her life and struggles along with such good words from the Lord.

   Our two oldest grandsons, Bradley and Isaiah, are coming to spend the afternoon with us today.  They are a bundle of energy and a total delight. 😁  I love those boys beyond words and look forward to any time I can have with them.  They are very aware that there are days when Grammie can't really play with them and that all hugs must be very gentle or they will hurt me.  Today is one of those days.  What I can do though on days like this is take them to the park and watch them play.  I can cuddle up and read books with them or watch a favorite movie.  That is what I choose to do...focus on what I can do with them and not what I can't.  I want to build wonderful memories with them to last their and my entire lives.  My own grandmother had some pretty serious health issues and was not able to play with me as a child, but I loved spending time with her.  We would sit and talk outside in her yard, quietly read our books and share hugs and kisses.  Spending the night with her was one of my favorite things to do.  She and I had such a strong bond and could read each other's thoughts, even across the miles of ocean that separated us when I left Hawaii to go to college in Idaho.  I want to build those kinds of bonds with my grandsons, all three of them.

   Knowing that the little boys are coming today, I need to pace myself and be careful to limit my energy output this morning so that I am not totally worn out by the time I go to pick them up.  I got a load of Jeff's laundry going when I first got up and then got the bread dough going in the Kitchenaid while my coffee maker brewed that wonderful elixir that I savor each and every morning.  I divided the dough into bread pans and set that to rise in the oven and then took a break had my coffee.  From there I folded a load of my laundry and then, instead of hanging out Jeff's laundry on the line to dry, I put it in the dryer.  I knew I did not have the strength or energy to hang the big and heavy load out today, so the dryer it was.  The bread dough had risen by this time so I got the bread baking and took another break to get this post going and to watch Melanie's video.  I just got the bread out of the oven and it is now cooling on the counter, covered by a towel so that Doofy cat does not sample it.  😉  I still need to take a shower, get myself ready for the day and then take a quick trip down to the library to pick up some videos that are there on hold for me. 

   My muscles feel like they are burning in the back of my neck and at the top of my spine right now and the cartilage between my ribs are sore.  I know that even with as little as I have done already, it may have been too much.  I will be spending the rest of my time until I go and get the little boys taking it easy on myself.  There are other things that I had hoped to get done today, but they will have to wait.  My priorities today, given my limited energy are my grandboys, making bread for my hubby so he will have bread for sandwiches to take to work with him, and getting his laundry done.  I refuse to feel guilty because I know that if I push myself too hard, I will not be able to enjoy my grandkids this afternoon and they are the most important "priority" in my life today.  

   

   

21 comments:

  1. I just wrote a big long reply and went to publish and it vanished. Maybe my reply was too long..ha!

    I am so sorry you're in a crash. I get it though as I have to work really hard at not having 'activity creep'. Doing just a little more and a little more and then wham-o, I'm feeling punky. And I still crash -even with trying to rein myself in.
    I'm also in crash mode from my doctor's appointment Monday. The only thing I got done today was going to the natural food store. Only did that because I had an awesome coupon that expired today.
    From the last comment - the strawberry yield will increase once school is out. The garden is co-located on the school grounds. Even though the garden is supposed to be out of bounds for the students, it's not. Good thing these are ever-bearing strawberries! I'd really be hooped if they were June bearers.
    Love the photo of your grandsons. It cheered me up and made me laugh. Continue to take good care of yourself!! SJ

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    1. Hi SJ, you describe oh so well exactly what I do too. I'm sorry you are in crash mode also. ((((((HUGS))))
      I had no idea your garden is located on school grounds. That does explain the missing berries. I'm sure they just proved way too tempting. ;)
      Our grandsons wore us and amazingly the dog and the cat out while they were here this afternoon. :) Doofy is unusually calm, which is not normal at this time of day for him. Haha! They hot tubbed, played in the yard, played with the dog and the cat, colored some pictures, had a snack, and then cuddled up to watch some kid tv shows with me. Jeff took them with him to bowling tonight where their parents will get them since Chris is filling in on Jeff's team for 4-6 weeks while another member of the team is out for surgery. They should sleep well tonight. Isaiah was already falling asleep on the couch next to me while watching TV. I hope I will too!
      Be blessed my friend!

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    2. Sounds like a perfect day with your 'big' grandsons. I'm so glad you had the energy for it. I took it fairly easy yesterday and am not feeling too bad today. I did manage to put some of the strawberries in my dehydrator. Had read about dehydrated strawberries being like candy. This is my first try at it.
      Yes, all of the community gardens here in my city are either in a city park or co-located on parkland/school property. ie there's a school with a city park adjacent to the school grounds. The newer schools are being built so that part of the school building can be used as a community center. It's actually a really great idea, imo.
      The down side as far as the gardens go, though, is that some people think they can just pick at will.
      It's raining today so I'll have another easy day. Take good care of yourself. SJ

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  2. Hope you feel better, soon. Take care of yourself. Gentle (((HUGS)))

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    1. Thank you so much Bless. It was wonderful to have the grandkids here this afternoon and they were so good about me not being able to do certain things with them. We did spend time cuddling though and had some very good conversations while they hot tubbed. ;)

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  3. Oh Debbie, I'm so sorry you've been struggling the last few days. But God's timing is no coincidence. He speaks to us at the very moment we need it most. Enjoy those precious grandboys and don't overdue. I'll be praying for you.
    Oh, and on a lighter note, I have to protect what I put on the counter, too! Our cats love to sample foods. Especially sweets of all things! Blessings & Love.

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    1. Thanks Anna, I feel that way too. :) I did enjoy the grandboys and am looking forward to having all the grandkids here on Sunday also, along with their parents and my cousin.
      Funny about your cat! Be blessed!

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  4. I am glad you are able to pace yourself. I have times when I am quite gimpy, for one reason or another. My nephew has learned to ask questions like, "auntie, does your foot/leg/arm, etc. hurt today?" Then I know that he wants me to play baseball--he wants me to RUN around the flowerbed. Frankly, I'm not up to running much anymore, ever, but he still asks occasionally. I usually talk him into batting practice, and he's actually happy with that. I throw the ball and he tries to hit it. I guess it's actually quite flattering that he would think this aging, chunky auntie could actually run anyway:)

    One thing that has surprised me a lot is that he has come to enjoy watching Chopped Junior on tv. It was on one Sunday afternoon and we caught it on accident, and he now asks to watch it when he is getting tired late in the day on Sundays. (Because his parents help with the teens on Sunday nights, we often have him on Sunday afternoons/evenings, then switch him back when we get the girls from their youth group activities) He's not much of a cuddly guy, but it's sweet when he does cuddle, usually late in the days on Sundays, watching tv, when he's really tired. I usually take the time to sit with him when he does finally wind down, as the occasions are rare, and precious.

    I'm so glad you can have this time with your grandsons. I agree that it's worth putting other things on the back burner so you have the energy to spend with them. As you have stated, they will remember the time with you, no matter what you do--it's the time spent, not the activity you do. Hopefully, you will feel better soon.

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    1. Becky, I love hearing about Jake. He just seems like such a sweet little boy and I am so glad that you have each other.

      I am starting to feel better today and have a bit more energy. I am trying to take it easy though so that I have the energy for having the whole family here in Sunday. Have a great weekend!

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  5. I too have fibromyalgia. After many years I still over do it at times. Some days I can only get my laundry and dishes done and I do them in 10 minute time slots or wash 5-10 dishes or fold and put away 5-10 items then rest and do more stuff like paperwork or watch TV and read. I have small goals on those days - just the dishes and laundry. It's hard when you are used to doing it all and bouncing right back but this has been my life for over 18 years so I try to go with it as best I can and be kind to myself. I also do laundry as soon as I have a load so it never piles up. Be good to yourself and enjoy your boys. They grow up so fast. My granddaughter just graduated high school so I know the time goes way too fast. Take care.

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    1. Hi Crystal, it sounds like you and I live very similar lives with this illness. ((((HUGS)))) I try to do the same with the laundry also.

      Congratulations to your granddaughter! Were you able to be there to see her graduate?

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    2. Yes, went up for her high school graduation and my daughter in law's graduation from college - Then my daughter in law (not my grand daughters mother) promptly left my son! It was very stressful so this week back at home I've been dealing with a flair up of Fibro and a re-occurance of shingles that I just got over from 6 weeks ago. The Dr. says stress can do that so trying to do what I can. Planted a bit in my little garden - that makes me happy and taking it easy on myself. Take care.

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    3. Oh Crystal I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your son. ((((((HUGS)))) We went through something similar with one of our sons and it was so painful for him and for us. I understand why your Fibro is flaring and why the shingles came back. Prayers for you and for your son.

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  6. Take it easy sweety and just enjoy those babies.

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    1. Thanks Cheryl, I did! :) Looking forward to spending time with all of the grandkids on Sunday too.

      Be blessed!

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  7. I took a nosedive this past weekend. Much as I wanted to keep on trucking and attack my project list I took the time off and spent the weekend in my recliner. Sometimes we just have to and I agree with you, we mustn't feel guilty about it either. Take care my friend and enjoy your loved ones.

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    1. Oh no...I am so sorry you got hurt. (((((HUGS)))) The list can wait...there is always tomorrow.

      Be blessed and have a great weekend!

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    2. Oh dear! I did make it sound like I fell, didn't I? I meant my energy level. LOL. Oh goodness. Although sometimes I think falling down feels better than feeling sick. I'm much better now! :)

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    3. I am so glad you did not fall after all. Sorry about your energy crash though.

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  8. Sorry to hear you are feeling so unwell. I hope that those little boys lift your spirits and help you forget how awful you feel, at least for a little while. Get well soon.

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    1. Thanks Jane...they always life my spirits! :) It was fun to have them here. :)

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