Broken Branches, Broken Lives

   [I]ntegrity is choosing your thoughts and actions based on values rather than personal gain. ~Chris Karcher,Relationships of Grace, 2003


   Sunday night we came home to find a huge branch of our old cherry tree, which was loaded with cherries that were beginning to ripen, broken and barely hanging on.  We think our Caesar must have jumped up and tugged on it trying to get himself a snack.  He loves cherries!  Jeff cut the branch the rest of the way down to not cause any further damage to the tree.  When we really looked at the branch, we could see that it had been rotting from the inside out and was therefore weakened and how just a little "tug" could finally bring it down.  This got me to thinking about how this can be a metaphor about life and how people can, through their actions, destroy families and organizations, along with lives by continuing to cause damage and spreading "rot" until someone or something breaks.

   Our family has experienced this, as have our friends.  This week we learned of a lawsuit filed in court to recall our mayor.   We are friends with one of the parties that filed the lawsuit and also with the mayor and is wife.  All three of them are good people.  However, there are others, who from what I have gathered after reading the town council minutes, that have been stirring things up.  One of those people appears to have a personal grudge against our mayor and has for years...this I know  because of the things this person has said about our mayor.  There is a term called "projection" when someone projects their own issues and what they either have done or are doing, onto others and uses them as a scapegoat.  It is my opinion, that this, is in part, what is going on here.  Some of the accusations are things that this particular person is guilty of themselves and ones that our mayor had to step in (with metaphorical muck boots because the $#!* was deep) and try to clean up when he was elected. It was a close race and he won by 2 votes.  There were decisions made before our mayor took office, that are directly contributing to what is going on now. Instead of trying to be part of the solution and sitting down together to help our town out during a financial crisis, there are some people who are determined to tear this town apart.  Let me also say this...our personal experiences with the mayor and his wife (who have become our good friends over the years), have been nothing but positive.  When we first moved here, they threw a block party for all the new families moving into the neighborhood so that we could get to know one another and build a strong community.  When we decided to homeschool our boys, the wife, who is a former high school English teacher, was so supportive and helped me design a great program for our boys.  When my parents would come to visit, they would rent out one of their apartments to them for a few nights at a dirt cheap rate since we could not all fit in our tiny home.  Later, as my parents and their friendship grew, they would not accept any money when my parents would come to stay.  Our son Jaysn rented his first apartment from them and they were nothing but supportive and amazing landlords to him.  He would take care of their place when they were gone on trips.  When our water line broke twice, our mayor came up on his own time, and brought his personal backhoe, and helped us locate and dig up the broken line (that was down about 6 feet deep) and showed my husband how to fix it, saving us so much time and money.  We tried to pay him for his time but he would not accept any money.  We did bless him with homemade banana bread though. ;)  Over the years we have shared the cherries from our tree with them and I have baked numerous loaves of bread for them...just because.  They are very generous and giving people who have contributed to scholarships awarded to local kids and have been involved in numerous fund raisers.  I think this is why it hurts so much...because they have given and given to a community that he grew up in and has been a part of for his whole life and she also has given so much to and loves, and then they are hit with this lawsuit to recall him.  Now they have to hire a lawyer and fight it legally in court to have this case dismissed.  This will cost them time and money and even if they win, because this story has been picked up and shared with newspapers as far away as Laredo Texas, his name has been dragged through the mud and his reputation has been forever sullied.  My heart just hurts for them.

   I understand all to well what they are feeling.  We have been through this is our own lives with our fractured family situation and in the past with work situations.  One of our sons is also going through this now.  It is a matter of integrity.  To have someone either come in an accuse you of something or try to undermine you and take credit for things that you have done is hurtful.  It can cost you your job, as it did for me years ago and may now cost our friend.  All we can do at this point is pray hard, be there for our friends and family, support them and stand up for what is right.  In the long run, those that seek to destroy others slip up and are exposed for who they really are...unfortunately though, they leave a trail of broken lives behind them.

 

 
 
 

Frugal Friday Wrap Up 6/10/16

 

   This has not been my most frugal week.  We spent Saturday and Monday at the hospital with a loved one and made several other trips into the two towns we shop in as well.  I tried to combine errands as best as I could, but we did have to fill up my car with gas a couple of times due to all the running around we did.  We also ate out twice. We did try to save in other ways though.

~The thrift stores have again been good to us.  My husband needed a hot and cold water splitter for a plumbing project and found one for .29 cents.  We also found the complete second season of Due South, brand new in wrapper, for $2.99.
~Other thrift store finds were a nice big glass jar with lid for .69, a t-shirt from my hometown, a silicone ice cube tray, a kid's nerf football for .69, a local history book for .69, a nice brand new leather purse (the same one I wanted to buy when it was in the big retail store) for 2.99 and a Wilson's leather wallet for .99.
~I pulled some things out of the freezer to use up this week.  I'm trying to shop the freezer first and make meals based on what I have in there for the most part.

~I keep granola bars in my purse.  They came in handy when my husband and I spent 8 hours at the hospital on Saturday and the cafeteria there was closed.
~We had free coffee at the hospital on Saturday and I had some again on Monday (we were there with a family member).
~We watched several movies we borrowed from the library.

~I line dried multiple loads of laundry out on the line this week.  I had to wash all the linens after we bug bombed/fogged the house.
~I tried to go cold turkey and not have coffee on Tuesday but still brewed a pot for Jeff.  By that afternoon my head hurt and I made myself a nice iced coffee drink...big fail on stopping coffee but HUGE savings on making a iced coffee drink at home. ;)
~I'm back to making sourdough bread again. :)

~I made a pot scrubber out of an old produce bag that some tangerines came in.
~I washed and sorted the huge stacks of cloth napkins and aprons that I have.  Some will be donated and some will be used as rags while others will remain in the rotation.
~The Salvation Army thrift store had some amazing deals the other day and I was able to walk out of there with 3 new pretty shirts, a soft sweater that looked brand new and 3 new canning jars with lids. That cost me about $13.00.  I stopped at another store and found a brand new copy of the DVD "Stand and Deliver".  It came to $1.99 after tax since it was the clearance color tag of the week.

~I found lots of marked down meats, bread and a pizza and a baked chicken in the Deli at Walmart.  I divided up the packages of breakfast sausages into smaller portions and froze them along with the 2 marked down Sweet Italian Sausage packages.
~The mail brought a feminine hygiene sample.
~It rained on Wednesday so I did not have to water any of the gardens.  I used some of the rainwater that fell into buckets I had set out to water some other potted plants.
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~We needed some more supplements so I place an order at Vitacost going through the link at Swagbucks.  I will get 3 points per dollar spent and I used 2 codes for a 10% discount and for a free product plus I took advantage of the BOGO half off sale.
~The library got a movie in for me that I had put in a request for and I picked it up on Wednesday.  We will watch that one this coming weekend.
~My hubby BBQed up some sausages on the grill for dinner one night and we had leftovers for lunch the next day.

~I worked on my points programs.
~I harvested radishes, strawberries, lettuce and a lone raspberry from the garden this week.
~After the stressful weekend, I had a CFS flare.  Jeff and I used the hot tub to help ease some of the muscle aches I was feeling.
~I washed and hung out to dry a bunch of ziplock bags that I had stored bread and cheeses in.
~It is raining here today (Friday) so there is no need to water the gardens that are now getting a good soaking.

   I am hoping that this next week will be a more frugal one but that could all change quickly depending on our loved ones (yes, plural) health.  I would really like to spend most of the week at home and get caught up on things around here and do some more work in the gardens.  The weeds are taking over and I need to get them out and get a few more things seeded in.   We shall see what life brings us.

Coffee in my Creamer and a Grocery Challenge Update

 

    Good Morning.  I'm sitting here a bit blurry eyed trying to type this out.  I went to bed at 10:14 last night because I just could not stay awake any longer and felt physically and emotionally drained and my whole body hurt.  The cat crawling back and forth across me sent shots of pain through me.  I was so happy when Rufus decided to finally settle down. My hubby got home around 6:30 this morning from worked and I cuddled in close to him and fell back asleep until 9:20 this morning.  I suspected I was in a crash cycle last night, but it was confirmed this morning and when I poured myself a big cup of coffee creamer and proceeded to add just a bit of coffee to it.  UGH!  I poured most of that out into another cup and added coffee up to the brim of my Aloha Hawaii, complete is hula girl, mug and am now sipping on that.  I'll use the rest of the creamer with a hint of coffee over the next few days. ;)

   Things are still a bit crazy around here.  Between what is going on with our loved ones health and the irrational behavior of the other party who is, quite frankly, causing us huge amounts of concern and trying to help a friend through a really rough patch, I am spent.  I highly suspect that if one of the loved ones is hospitalized again and IO (irrational one) has their way, we will be blocked from seeing them if the loved ones are not able to communicate their wishes.  IO wants total control of everything. We just want the best care and to follow, support and respect the wishes of our loved ones, even if that means we would not have them here with us as long. :(  

   Yesterday I was feeling the need to escape for awhile so I headed into town to do some shopping.  There were a few groceries that we needed and I was still on the hunt for more capris.  I did not find any capris, but I did find 3 nice shirts, a really soft and pretty sweater, a dvd and 3 canning jars with lids at the thrift stores.  I spent $15.00 on all of that.  I headed up to Walmart, where I ran into my wonderful neighbors, Uncle Bob and Aunt Norma, who told me there was a big storm headed our way.  I quickly bought what I needed and found some wonderful marked down items in the meat, deli and bakery department.  As I exited the building, the storm had already hit and the rain was coming down in huge drops with the wind whipping it around.  As I was trying to get my car loaded up with the groceries, a very sweet man offered to take my cart back inside for me so that I would not have to do that.  God bless him!  Once I was home I got the discounted pizza in the oven for a late lunch for Jeff and I, put the cooked roasted chicken in the refrigerator for dinner tonight ($2.69) and divided up 2 huge packs of discounted breakfast sausages into 9 smaller packs of 8 links each and 1 with 7 links and froze those along with 2 packages of discounted Sweet Italian Sausages ($2.78 each).  Those went into the freezer for future meals.  I also picked up some fruit and avocados. So to update my June Grocery Challenge, I have now spent $43.33 of my budget on the above and on bananas last week.  That leaves me with $106.67 for the rest of the month.

   Last night, feeling the crash coming on, I got a load of my laundry going.  That got popped in the dryer this morning and I got another load going while my coffee was brewing away.  I went out to the garden and picked some fresh strawberries and noticed that I have lettuce and radishes to be harvested and there are weeds that need to be pulled.  Hopefully I will get around to some of the weeds today and then I can also get the 3 new cucumber plants I bought in since I had 3 others that I started from seed die.  I also need to yank one of the tomato plants out that is slowly dying so that whatever it is does not spread to the other plants.

   Again, thank you all for the outpouring of prayers, support and good wishes.  We really do appreciate them all.  I am going to try to get caught up on my blog reading and commenting within the next few days because I do want to see what those of you who are also bloggers are up to.  All of you who leave comments here inspire me and I do appreciate every single one of you!

Be blessed!
   
   

Answered Prayer, Alienation and the Ant Invasion

  Thank you to everyone who sent us good thoughts and prayers.  After a long and worrisome weekend, our loved one that was in the hospital is home.  We had gotten a call from them on Saturday and after they told me what was going on I insisted we take them in to be seen.  I am so glad we did. They had been feeling badly for 2 weeks and it was getting worse.  We were lucky, we got them in just in time.

  While all this was going on, anger and resentment from another family member towards us just got worse.  It did bring some things to the surface though and we have finally realized that this situation with this certain family member cannot be resolved because they will never let go of their anger, fear, resentment and jealousy and instead of facing their own demons, they instead demonize me.  I have not been their only target, but they have not been able to totally destroy my relationship with others in the family as they have with someone else.  For years I, and my husband, have been lied about.  They went after our marriage, our parents, our kids and and now even our grandkids.  The stress of it all took a huge toll on our marriage and on my health.  The situation became so toxic that we almost walked away from it all, but given certain circumstances, that would have meant not being able to have contact with other family members who have been deeply hurt by this whole mess also.  We could not do that.  We limit contact with the source of the issue as much as possible and are kind when we see them, but that is NEVER returned.  Even with a health crisis of a loved one, this person could not stand to even be in the same room as us and was very angry at us that we were the ones who got our mutual loved one help.  Things will be getting worse because we still have more health crises that we are dealing with in the family and there will have to be some changes made for the health and safety of our loved ones.  I'm sure that most families have some kind of dysfunction in them....our just seems to be on the "crazy soap operas" scale of things.

    After dealing with the nastiness and pettiness of that person, we then had to deal with an actual ant invasion in our home later last night.  My husband was getting ready to go to work and saw a few ants on the kitchen counter.  Then he looked down on the floor and it was "moving".  YUCK!  Ants everywhere and they were spreading out to the rest of the house.  We did not have any bug spray so we quickly called our friends/hanai family next door and Shannon came to our rescue.  She brought over bug bombs and got me and the fur babies out of the house since I and our cat are especially sensitive to chemicals.  She, bless her heart, set off the foggers for us since Jeff had to leave for work and then she came back over to open up the house and air it out for me since I could not go in it until it was completely aired out.  I tell you, this woman went above and beyond for us and we love her dearly and feel so blessed to have her in our lives.

   Today I am spending the day washing all the towels, napkins, etc. that were affected by the bug bombs/foggers and washing down surfaces.  My laundry line is full at the moment and round two of the laundry will be going out there as soon as the first 3 loads are dried.  I also have bread going in the breadmaker and need to get out in the gardens and harvest some lettuce and strawberries.  It is going to be in the low 90's today, but will start a cooling trend tomorrow.  Thank you Jesus!

   Anyway, I may be sporadic in my blog posts for awhile again as we deal with all the things that are going on and trying to get answers and help for our loved ones and having to deal with the added stress of the conflict within the family.  Thank you again for your prayers and good thoughts.  We are just at the beginning of a long road filled with sinkholes I fear.

 

 

In Need of Prayers

 

We need prayers and good thoughts coming our way.  

We are dealing with some serious health issues within some our extended family right now.

We also need for hardened hearts to be changed, pettiness to be put aside and for us be able to come together as a family and focus on and support those that need us most right now.  

Thank you

June 2016 Grocery Budget Challenge

   

Pears growing on one of our trees.

   June is a month where our garden starts producing for us.  I have already harvested some strawberries and lettuce from the garden and the rhubarb is also ready now.  The cherries and raspberries should be ready by the end of the month, along with the peas, more lettuce, kale, and radishes.  We may even have some ripe cherry tomatoes too.

   Between the gardens and having a full pantry and 2 full large freezers, we should be eating really well and not have to buy all that much this month.  Thankfully, this comes at a perfect time for us to do another much needed grocery budget challenge.  We are looking at some unexpected additional expenses and the money has to come out of our budget from somewhere.  We also really do need to use up a lot of the older produce and things in the freezers to make room for the newer things that will be put in there during this year's harvest.

   That being said, my husband and I decided that $150 would be a very reasonable amount for our food budget this month.  There are a few things that I know we are going to need like apples, bananas and some milk along with hot cocoa mix that we buy in bulk because hubby uses it in his coffee.  I would love to be able to only eat fruit from our garden but my hubby is not a fan of raspberries, strawberries and cherries.  He will eat rhubarb though if it is made into a cake or bread. ;)  I will also be picking up more carrots, celery, tomatoes and avocados since we use those in salads and I will get more potatoes.  I'm sure there will be other things as well but I am determined to stay at or under $150.  I have already spent some of the budget on 2 bottles of club soda so I am now at $148.20 left for the rest of the month.  Wish me luck!

   

Frugal Friday Wrap Up 6/3/16

 

A quilt that my mother made and gave us along with a new queen sized bed.

   I can't believe that May has passed and we are already in June.  High school graduations are this weekend in our area and we have one to attend.  Luckily I was able to find a gift in my gift closet.  The special graduate will be getting a really fun big beach towel. :)  I love being able to shop my gift closet year round for gifts.  I have already picked out a large stockpot for a wedding gift for later this Summer. :)  Onto some of the other savings this week...

~There is a sporting goods store that is going out of business and had everything at 30% off.  Jeff and I went down there and found the ammo that he uses. :)
~Jeff and I found some really great deals at the thrift stores down in the valley.  We got some shirts, books, a Keith Urban cd for .98, a cute glass elephant statue, and a few other things.
~Big Lots had my favorite brand of lipsticks clearanced for $1.50 each, marked down from $8.50 each.  I bought 5 of them in various shades.  They also had the facial cleanser wipes that I use so I stocked up on a 6 month supply since we do not get down to Big Lots very often.

~Most of the laundry was again hung out on the line to dry.
~I switched out the quilts on our bed to the one that my mother made and sent over to us...I love it!
~I finally remembered to send an overdue Christmas gift home with my father and ironically, he brought us over a early Christmas gift from he and my mother.  Yes, we are all a bit strange and love to give gifts to one another. :D

~Jeff and I went to the Goodwill on Monday and found a PUR water filter system and extra filters for it.  We already have a PUR water filter system, but this is the top of the line one that filters out more stuff.  It cost us less to by the better system and the extra filters than it would to just replace the filters on our's,  We will most likely see if one of our kids or friends wants our current water filter system that we bought last October.  He gets the Senior discount, so that also helped lower our costs there.

~Goodwill also yielded a pair of capris for me, a earth science experiment book for elementary aged kids (this will go to our Heather since she is homeschooling the grandboys), and a Bob the Builder dvd for the grandboys that we and they did not have yet.  We have also wanted to leash train our cat so he can go on walks with us since he howls when we take the dog for a walk and leave him home.  I found a complete system and training kit with the harness and leash for $4.99.  Now comes the training part. ;)

~Petco emailed me a coupon good for 1 pound of free treats from their treat bar.  Caesar is very happy to have some different treats. ;)
~I used my $25 Walmart gift card that I got via Swagbucks to help pay for Caesar's dog food and Rufus' cat litter.  I also used a $1 off coupon on the dog food.
~Jeff and I found pastrami from the deli at Walmart marked down along with some hoagie rolls.  We froze 1 package of the pastrami and will use the other package this week to make sandwiches.  We also found a dozen bakery donuts marked down to $1.99 and got those for a treat.

~We were in town way longer than we had planned on Monday and had not eaten breakfast.  It was 2:30 p.m. by the time we got home but we did not go out to eat.  We instead came home and had a sandwich.
~I marinated some venison steaks.  We BBQed those for dinner on Monday night. YUM!
~We watched the dvd Four Weddings and a Funeral that I had recently picked up at a thrift store.

~I worked my points programs.
~Tuesday found Jeff and I working out in the gardens and I knew we would be tired after that.  I threw a venison roast in the crockpot along with some Italian seasoning, red wine, sale, pepper, beef bullion and some Italian salad dressing.  I added some onions and peppers to it about half way through the cooking time.  I shredded it when it was done and served it on hamburger buns.  So good and easy!

~Jeff filled 4 big trash cans with free mulch from our town's composting site.  We used the mulch in our flower beds and gardens.  It was really important that we get things mulched since we are expecting record breaking heat that could hit 100F by this weekend and are trying to do everything we can to help our plants through the heat and conserve water.
~I recycled more of my old pots and potted up more petunias to spruce up our back breezeway. :)

~I planted a second row of beans today because I had forgotten that last year I had done the same thing and got tons of beans that way.  Since I plan of canning beans this year, I needs lots of them. ;)
~I'm now watering in the early mornings or late afternoons to make sure the water has a chance to get way down to the roots of the plants.

~While I water with the sprinklers, I set out buckets to catch some of the water and use those on plants that are not near the sprinkler.  I can't see wasting all that water.

~I bought some flavored syrups to make my own Italian Sodas here at home.  I picked them up at the URM Cash and Carry store down in the valley.  They are much cheaper there than in the grocery stores up near me.

~The laundry was hung outside to dry again.
~I harvested the first strawberries of the season from our garden!

~I borrowed several movies and a book from the library.
~More blessings from our favorite local thrift store!  Jeff found a Fisher 10 CD player/changer and a stereo receiver with remote controls for both of them for $7.99 total!  We also found seasons 1 and 2 of "How I Met Your Mother" and another dvd for $2.99 each, some cds that Jeff wanted for $1.50 each, a shirt for me, a cookbook from Hawaii that has recipes for some of my favorite dishes for .99 and some Jamberry nail kits for .49 each.

~My generic Sudafed that I take had a price drop at Walmart of $4!
~I made some scrapple this week and we had it for 2 meals along with some applesauce.
~I got some free samples in the mail.

   I'm hoping to save even more this coming week.  I'm giving myself a grocery budget challenge for the month of June and will be trying to learn how to make more of the things here at home that I normally purchase ready made.  We are looking at some additional expenses here soon that were not budgeted for and that money has to come from somewhere.  So here's to saving even more!