It's been a rough week. I had a doctor's appointment on Monday, just a routine physical but we talked about my ongoing health issues and about my anxiety issues also. I kind of had a meltdown in my doctor's office and he was very kind, understanding and compassionate. He gave me some resources, great advice, told me to take some time, pray (yes, he is a man of faith and I so appreciate that) and took good care of me. Having a good doctor is a blessing and I am so thankful for him.
After leaving my appointment, we had an hour's drive to get to the pharmacy at Walmart. By this time I was worn out between having had our grandkids over the weekend (which I loved) and the raw emotions that I was feeling after my appointment. We got my prescription, picked up a few things we needed, tried to make another appointment for a health screening that I needed done at the hospital (but my records had not been sent over yet so they could not even make the appointment) and grabbed some lunch. I started falling asleep on the way home in the car and by the time we got arrived at home, I was in a lot of pain. Like I didn't know whether to cry or throw up kind of pain. I ended up having to cancel out on work for MOPS the next day. I tossed and turned all night and was too sore to even get up to take some pain medication. Tuesday was a recovery and down day for me since I was still out of it. By Wednesday I was feeling better but still did not have much energy.
Wednesday night I wrote a post on Facebook about how I was disappointed in the protesters who were out marching, yelling hateful things due to the results of the presidential election and suggested that we really needed to come together, find common ground and heal our very divided nation. I also suggested that if the protesters really wanted change, they should start by volunteering in their communities, helping their neighbors and doing things that would actually build a sense of community. I expressed that I wished they would take into consideration that by blocking roads they were making parents late to pick up their children from daycare or after school activities, or people from getting home to take care of elderly relatives or even blocking people who were living paycheck to paycheck from getting to their jobs. Most of the responses I got to my post were supportive but I did have one person, whom I have known since childhood, go off on a huge tirade complete with horrible language and even personal attacks on me (not the first time she has done that but I thought after the last time she pulled that I had gotten through to her that if she could remain calm and not do the personal attacks that we might find that we agreed on more than she thought). My reply to her was calm but pointed out that her response to my post was exactly what I was talking about...all the hateful sentiments and speech instead of trying to actually calmly talk through things and rebuild our country. I pointed out that the personal attacks against me or anyone else would not help but would just shut down lines of communication and people would stop listening to her. This is someone who knows that I have two sons that are police officers who put their lives on the line to protect everyone, including the protesters. She unfriended me on Facebook. I honestly feel sorry for her and all the anger and bitterness that she carries around. I have since had another mutual friend contact me privately and apologize for her part in posting something that just made things worse, which I know was not her intention. She also expressed how sorry she was that I was attacked like that by our mutual friend and that person was out of line. She and I, although we have very different views on things, have a great amount of respect for one another and we know that each of us have good hearts and intentions. We can agree to disagree, laugh, and move on to happier things.
Thursday I found out that my beloved Uncle Ronnie had died early Tuesday morning. My world felt like it had come crashing down. My heart hurt so badly for my aunt, cousins, their children, my other uncle and aunt and my parents. Everyone is devastated by his sudden death. He was my father's younger brother and he was very special and important to me. He and my Aunt Susie took me in during a very tough time in my life and helped me to heal from some very hurtful things that I had experienced. My father is taking it hard and I'm just in the first stage of my own grief in losing him. My husband, kids and one of my closest friends have all been wonderful to keep checking in with me to see how I am doing. Looking back at Saturday when we were on our way to pick up our grandkids to have them spend the night, I told my husband that I had a horrible feeling that something bad was happening and that we were going to lose someone in our family. It never entered my mind that it would be my uncle. I had no idea at that time that my uncle had just been diagnosed with Acute Leukemia the day before and had started on medication for it, or that 4 days later he would be rushed to the hospital late at night and die within the early hours of the morning.
Thursday mid day I found out a friend of mine's husband was rushed to the hospital not breathing and with no pulse. They we able to revive him but he is in a coma and they don't know if he will come out of it. They are monitoring his brain activity to see if there is any damage there. My heart aches for my friend and all that she is going through. She has already lost a son in a tragic accident. I am praying for her, her husband and their other son.
Thursday night there were also riots in Portland, Oregon and one of my hanai sons, was working in the area that was hit the hardest. He and the rest of the crew were pulled off the movie set they were working on and told to stay safe in their offices away from the danger happening right outside their door. He could see the windows being smashed in buildings, things set on fire and spray painted and the attack with baseball bats on a news crew right below him. I pray he made it home safely after getting off work because the rioters were still making their way through the city causing more damage and blocking roads.
Here it is very early on Friday morning and I am still awake, unable to sleep and yet knowing that if I don't I will tailspin into yet another crash and flare. My heart is heavy with all that has gone on. I fear for our country that is so divided and hurt for the people who have had their businesses damaged or destroyed by the rioters. I am devastated for my family and for our loss of my sweet and loving Uncle Ronnie. My heart aches for my friend who's husband is in a coma and who is waiting and praying that he will wake up and be ok. I fear for the safety of my hanai son Lee who was right in the line of danger tonight. My mind is racing and I can't calm it down. So yes, it has been a very rough week and I am praying for all of the concerns above.
So yes, it has been a very rough week.