The BIG 50 and a Letter to the Teenaged Me

   Yesterday I celebrated another milestone in my life.  I am now 50 years young! :)  I have reached the halfway point in my life (I plan on living to be 100 years old). ;)  I was so blessed with many phone calls, messages through Facebook, birthday cards and gifts and surprise visits from some of my hanai kids and friends.  It was a laid back, relaxing day spent at home and I loved it!
   This morning I got to thinking about those country songs about if you could write a letter or talk to your much younger (as in teenaged) self what you advice you would share.  Mine would go something like this:
 
Dear Debbie,
   I wanted to write you this letter to encourage you.  I know you have a lot going on in your life right now and are full of questions about your future.  I know that some days you are overwhelmed and your heart is breaking over things that you have no control over (this will be a continuing theme in your life because you care so deeply for others).  I know that you are excited about going away to college but at the same time fearful of leaving because Grandma has been ill for awhile and you can see that she is not getting better.  You worry that you will be far away and not be able to come home and see her if she gets worse or if she passes away.  You sometimes feel very hurt and alone and you keep some things locked up tight deep within your heart and mind, pushing them aside and hoping they never surface again.  You try and put on a happy face and pretend everything is fine when deep in your heart, you know it is not.  I want you to know that things do get better as time goes on.  Here is some advice to help you navigate the next few years. 

~take time to figure out who you are and what you really want out of life and don't let anyone come between you and your goals
~you are a person of value, nothing and no one can take that away from you
~stay away from the "bad boys", they will only leave you heartbroken
~one day you will find a very special man who loves you deeply, unconditionally and will help you become the person that you were always ment to be, wait for him
~you were born with a gift to teach and encourage and will touch many lives because you honestly want kids to succeed in life and to know that they can accomplish their goals, no matter what
~your greatest areas of ministry will be in the areas where you yourself have struggled the most and where you will overcome and find healing
~healing is process that takes time and can be gut wrenching but you will heal with the help, understanding and unconditional love of the man you will marry
~forgiveness is not only for the other person, but for yourself as well, if you do not forgive, you will be caught up in a vicious cycle and will never find that peace that you are so desperately seeking
~Grandma will hang on until she knows that you have found the right person to share your life with and even after she passes on, you will still feel her presence and love for you
~your 21st birthday is going to be one you look back on for the rest of your life as one of the best days ever...trust me on this
~remember years ago when the doctor said you should not have children because your heart could not take the stress of pregnancy and you cried out to God telling Him that all you wanted to be was a Mommy...well God heard you and He truly did heal your heart; you will see how abundantly and in how many unexpected ways He blesses you :)
~believe it or not, you and Mom will become very close friends and be some of each others biggest supporters in addition to mother and daughter, your relationship with each other will be better than you could have ever imagined and it will be one that you cherish
~you will be challenged in throughout your life with difficult people and situations, just pray and stay true to who you are, no matter what
~your life will take some unexpected twists and turns that you can not even imagine right now and you will be challenged to your very core, but you will learn valuable lessons along the way and also learn just how strong you really are

  When you are 50 years old, you will look back on the first half of your life and realize all the struggles, failures, successes and lessons learned have made you the person that you are.  You will also realize just how blessed you are and that God's plan for your life was better than anything you could have come up with. 
   Hang in there Debbie, it will be a bumpy ride at times but you will be surrounded by people that love and support you and they, along with your faith in God, will pull you through everything that is in your life at this moment and in your future.  You will experience some of the greatest challenges but also the greatest joys ever!  There will be times in your life where your eyes will well up with tears, not because you are sad but because you are so overwhelmed with joy, gratitude and even pride in seeing the fruits of your labor and love come to fruition.  Life is good and things do get better!

Love,
  The 50 year old YOU :)