While the "Fibro Fog" is not as thick, I thought I would try to get the words down here before they disappear into the thick fog once again. Even as I am typing this, I have to constantly go back and correct things because I know what I want to say but trying to get my fingers to type what I am trying to put down in words seems to get lost in transit. And yes, my mind also seems to short circuit and gets a bit lost at times too. Very frustrating! 😖 If you have stayed with me on this, it took me a full 5 minutes just to get that typed out. UGH!
I love blogging, but have not been posting as much lately because when I do have energy, I have been trying to keep up on the gardening and housework. It seems that if I can get that done one day, then I crash the next. It is a vicious cycle. I do try to take breaks in between and pace myself, but after having a pretty good run there health wise for awhile, I feel like I have now taken a good 3 steps backwards. Here's an example of what I have been dealing with. On Friday I was able to get laundry done, work in the garden, get some cooking done, got the hot tub chemicals all taken care of and did a few projects around the house. I did take breaks in between and I thought I was doing a really good job pacing myself. Friday night I knew I was in trouble and was so sore that I had trouble sleeping. Saturday morning I thought I was doing ok, so I picked the strawberries and went next door to visit with Bob and Norma. I came home, did a load of laundry, picked some of the cherries off the huge branch from our cherry tree that had broken overnight and then rested. After awhile, I showered and Jeff and I then headed into pick up a few things and get my prescription. By the time I was done with my shower, I was so sore. By the time we hit Walmart, my muscles were screaming and I could barely move. I had to use the shopping cart to hold me up as I literally shuffled along in the store. I looked like a little old lady with balance issues. Jeff then took me out to an early birthday lunch. They tried to seat us at these tall tables and I had to explain that I had Fibromyalgia and trying to get up on those tall chairs was going to kill me. One of the waiters, who must know someone with Fibro immediately said, "We don't want you hurting, let's get you an comfortable booth". God bless that young man. The concern in his voice and face told me that he totally understood my pain. We did get some strange looks from other people when Jeff had to put my leftovers in a take home container for me because I could not even lift my plate to do it myself. I went to bed as soon as we got home.
Sunday I was talking with our son Josh and told him I needed to get this under control and was looking at buying a fitbit or something to track my activity level, heart rate, sleep patterns, etc. so that I could also journal when I had energy, when I felt the crashes coming on, etc. and see if I could find patterns between my crashes and or low energy days and also see what was going on when I had good days. This is something that I have been wanting to do for awhile how so that I can establish a baseline and go from there. Josh and his friend Katie helped me to find the right fitbit for me and Josh even gave me $50 for my birthday to help cover part of the cost. I am so thankful to them both because I really feel like this is a tool that will help me figure some things out.
Later that morning, our hanai son Ben surprised us with a visit and we had a wonderful time! It was so good to see him and it just lifted my spirits. He has a genetic disease that affects his muscles, making him feel weak at times, but praise God , he does not have pain with it too. He and I talked about how we both appreciate the good days and try to focus on what we can do, live in the moment and soak in life and try to remember on the bad days, that this too shall pass and there are better days ahead. We both agreed that sometimes that is hard to do but if we focus on all we can't do, we would be very depressed, so we choose to focus on the good as much as possible. He told me that on his worst days, he remembers that his disease is not terminal and that others have it way worse than he does. Is it any wonder I love this wise young man beyond his years so much? He is pretty awesome!
Today was more of a typical day for me. I got laundry going when I first got up (after another rough night sleep wise) and then hung it out to dry and got another load going but put that one in the dryer(I know my limits). I had some coffee and then got some lettuce harvested in the garden, along with some strawberries and then came in to rest. I was tired but took a shower and that seemed to perk me up a bit so we ran some errands and by the time we got home, I had to lay down for about an hour to ease the aching muscles and because I could not keep my eyes open anymore. I rested for about an hour before the phone rang, so I got up and have been sitting here resting and trying to summon up the energy needed to get the clothing off the laundry line and then fold it. I don't have the energy to cook tonight so it will be another whatever you grab for dinner.
Tomorrow we have the family coming over for a potluck/BBQ in the afternoon and I am praying that I will feel better by then. The only things I really need to do before they get here are cook the rice and make the shoyu chicken (easy to do) and then vacuum. Jeff will need to sleep until they all arrive since he works tonight. I am so blessed that my family understands my illness and they all watch out for me and pitch in to help. I think most of my time will be spent cuddling little Steven while the rest of the crew picks cherries from our tree and takes care of other things here. I just want to be able to sit back and soak in all the joy ,love and laughter that my family brings into my life. They are my reasons to keep trying to find ways to deal with my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, IBS, Fibromyalgia and other assorted ailments and illnesses. I honestly think I would be so depressed if it were not for all of them. They are my everything!😍