A few months ago I saw something on Facebook that really made me sad for the author. She was talking about all the "bad relationships" that she did not want to be a part of and one of the things she listed as being bad was being a couple that could finish each other's sentences. That stopped me in my tracks and made me think that a. the author is either really young so has no clue about long lasting love or b.the author just wants that beginning of a relationship "thrill ride" feeling and is never in a relationship long enough to find out how truly wonderful it is to have that deep connection with someone to be able to finish each other's sentences.
My husband and I have been together since the day after Thanksgiving in 1983. We got married in March of 1985. That means that we have been a couple for 33 years now. No one knows me as well as he does or him I. We are each other's best friend, confidant, biggest cheerleader and the one person in this world that we know will be there for each other no matter what. Our connection in very deep and strong. We can look at something and both of us think the exact thing with the exact wording when we speak that thought out loud. We can look at each other across a room and know that the other one is thinking. This has come in handy when one of us is hurting or ill. No words have to be spoken, but we know what each other needs at that moment. As I have shared before, I have both Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia and the "brain fog" that comes with both of those. There are times when I am in the middle of a sentence and I can't find the word I want to say or I know it but it does not make the connection from my brain to my mouth. My husband knows how frustrating this is for me and he finishes my sentence and bridges that gap for me. He goes with me to most of my doctor's appointments because I can't remember simple things like what supplements and the dosages I take. I really do need to write those things down and keep a copy of them in my wallet.
My husband, like a lot of men, has trouble putting into words what he is feeling at times, especially when he is dealing with something that is hurting him deeply. I help him find the words to express himself so that he can get it all out. My doing this helps him cope with it better so it is not building up inside and making him feel even worse than he already is. It has helped him be able to see patterns of behavior going way back to his childhood that are hurtful and not healthy at all and has helped him deal with some very traumatic events in his life.
Being able to finish each other's sentences is a good and positive thing. It comes from years of love, trust and truly paying attention to what is important to the other person. It shows a deep and strong bond between people. Love matures over time and goes through different stages. I hope that the author of the post I read that "sparked" this post one day finds herself in a deep and mature relationships where she and the one she loves can finish each other's sentences.
Fantastic post, Debbie! I'm in total agreement that it's a wonderful marriage when two people know exactly what the other is thinking. I once read (probably another youngster) that she hated when people said they married their best friend. How silly! A spouse should most certainly be your best friend, someone that has your back no matter what, someone that knows the real you. True love isn't the giddy stuff of Hallmark movies, it's the day to day deep relationship. Hope these two discover it someday or they'll be in one unhappy relationship after another.ReplyDelete
So very true Jane! We know people who do exactly that...one unhappy relationship after another. Once the initial giddiness is gone, they don't want the relationship anymore.Delete
I completely agree with all that you said. How sad for the author. Many times hubby and I will say the same phrase at the same moment. We always laugh and then I will say "great minds." It is a great thing as it shows we have a deep connection.ReplyDelete
Wendi, I love that you and your hubby do that. :) Isn't it a wonderful thing? ;)Delete
Happy New Year, Debbie -ReplyDelete
I wholeheartedly agree with you. I've also enjoyed catching up on your recent posts. It looks like your new year is off to a great start.
Hello Mrs. B! I hope you have been staying warm with the arctic blast we are having. I saw the forecast for your area again and I think I would be hibernating until Spring. ;) It has been a great start to the new year and I am looking forward to meeting that new grandson of our's in April and well as spending lots of time with our 2 grandsons that already make our days so bright. :)Delete
So True Debbie. A committed relationship requires work. It requires you to think of the other person and to know them well. When two people are involved in such a commitment, of course they can finish each others sentences. If they cant you would have to wonder how committed they really are to each other,ReplyDelete
Very good points Jane. :) I am so thankful for that kind of relationship with my husband and yes, it has required work but something that I would not hesitate to do all over again. He's worth it (and he says I am too ;)).Delete
Sounds like you and your husband are true soul-mates, Debbie. :)ReplyDelete
Hi Bless, I like to think we are. :)Delete
A beautiful post my dear! Congratulations on such a lasting and deep relationship with your groom.ReplyDelete
We started going together two days before Thanksgiving 1981. When the 25th anniversary of going together came about, it was Thanksgiving Day! God blessed us with that arrangement. We celebrated monthiversaries until we were in the hundreds. We still celebrate our anniversary of going together as much as we can.
Laura, that is so sweet! Congratulations on all those years of love and commitment to one another. :)Delete
I can relate to this post Debbie. I always go to the Dr. with DH, he has epilepsy which affects the speech part of his brain, so I usually need to complete the rest of his sentence for him(helps that I was a nurse). And some of the medication he is on for back pain doesn't help, he now has memory loss to add to the equation. DD#1 has AS, and frequently calls me to ask what a word is that she is trying to remember so that she can write a note to the children's teacher or explain to her DH what is going on, and especially when she has a specialist appt.ReplyDelete
Meg, I am so glad that you are able to be there to help your husband and your daughter with their memory issues. I know that they must really appreciate it. You are sure a blessing to your family. :)Delete
Your post rang true for me as well. In my marriage, I gave it my all but eventually had to end it when certain issues came up. I walked away, though, knowing I had done all I could humanely do.ReplyDelete
So even though it is tough to re-start life in my soon-to-be 60s, I persevere. Really, there's no other option and whining certainly doesn't get any positive results for me.
Ventured out Wednesday night with the senior's group. Hadn't been with them for almost a year. I had a blast! I also asked for help from the staff person/bus driver. I asked to be driven home earlier rather then later in the route. And, you know what? She was very happy to accommodate me - I just had to push down my pride and ask for help and risk telling her about my CFS.
By the time I was in my apartment, I was 'done'. But I did it and it just re-enforced that I can do things but I have to acknowledge my limitations. Cheers, SJ
(((((HUGS)))) SJ I'm glad you are finding so much enjoyment with the senior's group. It is ok to ask for help and to acknowledge that our energy levels are limited. Much better than not going out and having that fun when we can! ;)ReplyDelete
I have to agree with you Debbie, this author is obviously too young or just has never experienced a long-lasting love. I get it. I probably thought that way too when I was younger, about knowing someone so well that it gets boring. It's part of youth. The young think they know all, and I can say that with definite experience! Long-lasting love is different than new love, that's just a fact. The hubby and I not only finish each other's sentences, a lot of times we say the exact same thing at the exact same moment. We always say "Great minds think alike" 😂 I'm guessing this young author will come to regret writing such an immature statement. I know I've emphatically declared stuff in writing when I was younger that makes me cringe as an adult.ReplyDelete
Hope you are having a great week Debbie! 😃
Oh Jessica, I have too! I was appalled at reading things like not being able to go out on regular date nights and swore that would never be us...until reality hit and we had 3 kids within a 22 month span, lived away from any family and when we did finally manage to sneak away for a night while a trusted babysitter stayed overnight with our kids, we promptly fell asleep once we got to the hotel...no romance, no dinner out, nothing. We were too sleep deprived and exhausted! LOL! It's amazing how our priorities changed and what I saw as the most romantic thing about my hubby was when he would say "honey, you go take a nap, I'll take care of the kids" when we were both totally exhausted. Now that is true love!Delete