It's been a rough week. I had a doctor's appointment on Monday, just a routine physical but we talked about my ongoing health issues and about my anxiety issues also. I kind of had a meltdown in my doctor's office and he was very kind, understanding and compassionate. He gave me some resources, great advice, told me to take some time, pray (yes, he is a man of faith and I so appreciate that) and took good care of me. Having a good doctor is a blessing and I am so thankful for him.
After leaving my appointment, we had an hour's drive to get to the pharmacy at Walmart. By this time I was worn out between having had our grandkids over the weekend (which I loved) and the raw emotions that I was feeling after my appointment. We got my prescription, picked up a few things we needed, tried to make another appointment for a health screening that I needed done at the hospital (but my records had not been sent over yet so they could not even make the appointment) and grabbed some lunch. I started falling asleep on the way home in the car and by the time we got arrived at home, I was in a lot of pain. Like I didn't know whether to cry or throw up kind of pain. I ended up having to cancel out on work for MOPS the next day. I tossed and turned all night and was too sore to even get up to take some pain medication. Tuesday was a recovery and down day for me since I was still out of it. By Wednesday I was feeling better but still did not have much energy.
Wednesday night I wrote a post on Facebook about how I was disappointed in the protesters who were out marching, yelling hateful things due to the results of the presidential election and suggested that we really needed to come together, find common ground and heal our very divided nation. I also suggested that if the protesters really wanted change, they should start by volunteering in their communities, helping their neighbors and doing things that would actually build a sense of community. I expressed that I wished they would take into consideration that by blocking roads they were making parents late to pick up their children from daycare or after school activities, or people from getting home to take care of elderly relatives or even blocking people who were living paycheck to paycheck from getting to their jobs. Most of the responses I got to my post were supportive but I did have one person, whom I have known since childhood, go off on a huge tirade complete with horrible language and even personal attacks on me (not the first time she has done that but I thought after the last time she pulled that I had gotten through to her that if she could remain calm and not do the personal attacks that we might find that we agreed on more than she thought). My reply to her was calm but pointed out that her response to my post was exactly what I was talking about...all the hateful sentiments and speech instead of trying to actually calmly talk through things and rebuild our country. I pointed out that the personal attacks against me or anyone else would not help but would just shut down lines of communication and people would stop listening to her. This is someone who knows that I have two sons that are police officers who put their lives on the line to protect everyone, including the protesters. She unfriended me on Facebook. I honestly feel sorry for her and all the anger and bitterness that she carries around. I have since had another mutual friend contact me privately and apologize for her part in posting something that just made things worse, which I know was not her intention. She also expressed how sorry she was that I was attacked like that by our mutual friend and that person was out of line. She and I, although we have very different views on things, have a great amount of respect for one another and we know that each of us have good hearts and intentions. We can agree to disagree, laugh, and move on to happier things.
Thursday I found out that my beloved Uncle Ronnie had died early Tuesday morning. My world felt like it had come crashing down. My heart hurt so badly for my aunt, cousins, their children, my other uncle and aunt and my parents. Everyone is devastated by his sudden death. He was my father's younger brother and he was very special and important to me. He and my Aunt Susie took me in during a very tough time in my life and helped me to heal from some very hurtful things that I had experienced. My father is taking it hard and I'm just in the first stage of my own grief in losing him. My husband, kids and one of my closest friends have all been wonderful to keep checking in with me to see how I am doing. Looking back at Saturday when we were on our way to pick up our grandkids to have them spend the night, I told my husband that I had a horrible feeling that something bad was happening and that we were going to lose someone in our family. It never entered my mind that it would be my uncle. I had no idea at that time that my uncle had just been diagnosed with Acute Leukemia the day before and had started on medication for it, or that 4 days later he would be rushed to the hospital late at night and die within the early hours of the morning.
Thursday mid day I found out a friend of mine's husband was rushed to the hospital not breathing and with no pulse. They we able to revive him but he is in a coma and they don't know if he will come out of it. They are monitoring his brain activity to see if there is any damage there. My heart aches for my friend and all that she is going through. She has already lost a son in a tragic accident. I am praying for her, her husband and their other son.
Thursday night there were also riots in Portland, Oregon and one of my hanai sons, was working in the area that was hit the hardest. He and the rest of the crew were pulled off the movie set they were working on and told to stay safe in their offices away from the danger happening right outside their door. He could see the windows being smashed in buildings, things set on fire and spray painted and the attack with baseball bats on a news crew right below him. I pray he made it home safely after getting off work because the rioters were still making their way through the city causing more damage and blocking roads.
Here it is very early on Friday morning and I am still awake, unable to sleep and yet knowing that if I don't I will tailspin into yet another crash and flare. My heart is heavy with all that has gone on. I fear for our country that is so divided and hurt for the people who have had their businesses damaged or destroyed by the rioters. I am devastated for my family and for our loss of my sweet and loving Uncle Ronnie. My heart aches for my friend who's husband is in a coma and who is waiting and praying that he will wake up and be ok. I fear for the safety of my hanai son Lee who was right in the line of danger tonight. My mind is racing and I can't calm it down. So yes, it has been a very rough week and I am praying for all of the concerns above.
So yes, it has been a very rough week.
Debbie, I am so sorry, you have had a very rough and sad week.
ReplyDeleteI fear this hate and dissatisfaction from the left is going to continue.
I hope you can get some rest and healing.
That is my fear too Rhonda and that more people will be hurt and businesses vandalized. Thank you my friend.
DeleteSo sorry that you are having a rough week, Debbie. Those protesters remind of little children throwing a temper tantrum because things didn't go their way. I guess after growing up receiving trophies and ribbons for participating, this is their first dose of real life, that your team doesn't always win. If I had a friend that berated me like that, and even worse in a public forum, they wouldn't be my friend for very much longer!
ReplyDeleteHope today will be a better day for you
Hugs
Jane
Thanks Jane, and yes there is a lot of temper tantrum throwing going on. As for that friend, she is no longer in my life...her choice and to be honest, it is for the best. I was hoping by showing her kindness and love that she could get that chip off her shoulder and maybe let go of some of that anger that is destroying her. I don't like to see anyone have to live like that.
DeleteSo far today is a better day. I am taking it easy at home and looking forward to a fun weekend with my girls Saturday and at the Olivia Newton John concert Sunday that I won tickets to.
Be blessed!
Hi Debbie,
ReplyDeleteYou have had a very rough week. A wise person once told me that you can't control someone else's behavior; you can only control your reaction to it. You did nothing wrong so forget it and move on. I hope you start to feel better over the weekend. Do something nice for yourself.
Thanks and I am taking your advice to heart. I know it is a reflection of her and not of me. I do have fun plans for the weekend with my girls on Saturday and a concert with my hubby on Sunday.
DeleteBe blessed and have a great weekend!
Oh Debbie! I am so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is heavy this morning as I think I upset someone on FB yesterday. I called out my Christian friends and told them to start acting like Chrisians. That they needed to react with love. I am seeing hate from both sides and my heart is heavy. I personally called out a dear friend that happens to be a retired pastors wife as her memes were hateful. I was nice and suggested that as she stands up for her beliefs she should be think about the fruit of the Spirit and not post or say things she wouldn't if Jesus was litary standing next to her. That did not go over well. I didn't respond to her response, nor will I.
I will pray for you and for our country.
((((((HUGS))))) Wendi. I'm with you on not liking all the hateful things I am seeing posted also. I try to respond in love if I think responding at all will make any difference in the hearts of the ones posting it. I had to do that to one of my hanai daughters the other day when she was wishing death on our new president elect and saying it would be God's way of watching out for all of us. I calmly pointed out that this was out of character for her since I know she has a very big loving and forgiving heart and that we are all God's children, including Donald Trump and like all good parents, God may not like the behavior of his child, but He will always love them. I hope that got through to her. So far there has been no backlash so I think it may have. ;) I'm sorry that your friend reacted the way she did and I pray that she will calm down and see that you were coming to her with lots of love in your heart and concern.
DeleteBe blessed and I will be praying for you too.
Debbie, my heart is going out to you. I am so sorry that you have had such a difficult week. I know what anxiety can do to a person, I get anxiety attacks and it is hard to get through them at times, but I try to give it all I've got and pray my way through it. I once read that 'though we don't know what tomorrow holds, we know Who holds tomorrow' and I personally find a peaceful shelter in that comforting thought.
ReplyDeleteI hope you can feel the hugs and prayers I am sending your way, Debbie. Please just try and get rest when you are able to. XOXO
Thank you Dawn, I really appreciate your hugs, prayers and advice. I'm sorry you suffer from anxiety attacks also. ((((HUGS)))) I finally gave in and admitted that I cannot always handle them when they get really bad to the point where I am shaking so I have a prescription now to help me IF and only IF I can't get them under control myself. That was my stipulation on taking anything.
DeleteI did manage to get about 5 hours of good sleep last night and am taking it easy today. I've got a busy and fun weekend ahead of me that I am looking forward to. :) Be blessed my friend!
My heart just aches for you and the week you've had. Take good care of yourself and be kind to yourself. Enjoy that hot tub with your hubby and keep going with some comfort food.
ReplyDeleteI know for me when I'm overly tired, nothing goes well and I just melt down emotionally. Know that I'll be praying for you.
Have you heard the song "Eye of the Storm" by Ryan Stevenson? I heard it this week on the local Christian station (Praise106.5, I think - they have their playlists on line). It brought me to tears because it captured what I was/am feeling. You might find it will lift you up. It did for me. SJ
Thanks SJ and no, I have not heard that song yet. I will look it up and take a listen to it. Thank you. :)
DeleteI am being good to myself and taking things easy. I have a fun weekend planned with a Girl's Day shopping trip tomorrow with my girls to find stuff for my little grandsons and for my DIL Rachel as she continues to grow the newest little grandchild safe within her womb. We'll be buying things for the new baby too. :) Sunday Jeff and I are going to see Olivia Newton John in concert. I won tickets to see her and am very excited about that!
Be blessed my friend and I hope you have a lovely weekend!
Oh my Debbie. No wonder your heart is heavy and you are feeling overwhelmed.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea that an election, in a democratic country, could cause such a societal backlash. I hope that all the hate settles down and the mob culture dies away.
I'm not going to give advice on how to deal with something I have no experience with. I just hope your are able to find a happy place within your life and yourself. Once there I hope you can ground yourself once again. Much love.
Jane, I have never in my life seen this kind of a reaction to an election. I think the reason for it is twofold: first this was one of the nastiest presidential campaigns ever and the media picked sides and really bashed the candidate that they did not want to win and second, we have a entire generation of people (there are exceptions of course) who are so used to getting their way and being coddled that they don't know how to handle disappointments in life. Many of the protesters were also paid to come in. Soros paid for them to cause havoc and they were recruited through actual ads on Craigslist. They were paid to destroy businesses, start fires, block highways and confront the police. It is mind boggling to me that anyone would pay someone to do this and that anyone would actually be evil enough to do it.
DeleteDebbie,
ReplyDeleteI pray for the Shalom peace of God to flood through your mind, your spirit, your body, your circumstances, your family. Shalom means peace in Hebrew, but it also means nothing missing, nothing lacking, nothing broken. I'm not Jewish, but I find that when I can make myself breathe deeply and quietly say speak, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus" slowly or "shalom, shalom," slowly, it helps to calm me. Lavender oil on the sides of my neck near the arteries helps me too.
I advise you to stay away from Facebook for a few days. I'm trying to stay away from it awhile since I've heard it's full of hate speech right now. I don't need that.
You've had an awful week, but you are not alone dear lady. Jesus is with you. Sometimes we just need to focus our attention on him to feel his presence. You can do all things through Jesus who strengthens you.
If I were with you I'd give you a good long hug filled with the love of Jesus. I shall pray for you.
Father God, I ask that you fill Debbie with your shalom peace. Help her to be anxious for NO THING, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let her requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard her heart and mind through Christ Jesus.
Hugs,
Laura of Harvest Lane Cottage
Thank you Laura for you kindness and your prayers. (((((HUGS)))))
DeleteI hope you are starting to feel better! Life isn't always easy but pain really puts the brakes on life! I am sad for all these protests, esp. in Portland. It's been many years since a Republican has won and all those years....I never turned to any hatred that my candidate did not win. I don't know why these people are so disobedient. Well, actually I think it is a war on life, and many women (for some odd reason) think having a baby will ruin their lives, and I also think certain people are paying people to cause trouble and discord to destroy our country. Anyway...I hope you feel better. Very nice doctor you have ! Andrea
ReplyDeleteAndrea, I am with you on all that you have shared here. It is scary!
DeleteDebbie,
ReplyDeleteSo sorry your week has been so stressful.
The election - which ever side any one was on - has been tension filled. I agree with you that there is no good coming from spewing forth hatred and disgust. The rioters don't seem to truly understand there was an election and we have to accept the results. Had it gone the other way - the rioting wouldn't be tolerated.
I am so sorry for your family loss. I pray for your family. Also sending prayers for your friend.
As you are aware I lost my dear brother this week - so I truly understand your sadness and heartache.
Each day our hearts will heal a tiny bit. It is comforting to know that someday we will all be together again.
Prayers and hugs to you and yours.
((((((HUGS))))) Cheryl and I hope that you are doing better too. It is hard losing those we love. I am comforted knowing that my Uncle is with God, as is your brother, and that we will see them again one day.
DeleteSorry to hear your week has been so rough, Debbie. Hope next week will be better. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteThank you Bless, things are looking better this week. I hope all is well with you.
DeleteGood Monday morning - just stopped in to say Hi. Hope your concert and time with friends was uplifting.
ReplyDeleteI'm off to do lab tests - more maintenance tasks. Ha!
Then walking the dog. I crashed over the weekend both days, too big a week, so I'm looking forward to a nice walk in the 'not rain'. It looks to be a great Fall day here. We're in between big rain storms. Cheers, SJ
Thanks SJ, the concert was wonderful! I hope you lab tests turn out well and that you enjoyed your walk. Take care of yourself my friend!
DeleteOh dear Debbie, I'm so sorry to hear of the very difficult week you have had! It seems this election has brought out the worst in many people. I truly believe that the Lord's hand is on whoever is in office, and He is ultimately in control of all, and there is great peace in that for me. I hope that you are feeling better by now, and that the peace of the Lord will comfort you, and give you words and strength to be there for your dear friend and her husband. Will be praying for you my friend, and believing that the Lord will fill up your cup with His presence in a beautiful way such that you feel His tender love and care for you! Big hugs!
ReplyDeleteThank you my friend. I am so glad that God is in control because we humans have sure made a mess of things here on earth. :)
Delete