The Next Chapter In My Life

   This is where I have been spending a lot of my time recently.  Yes, in bed with or without my Midgy and Patchy.  I have been exhausted, sore and have stimulation overload all at the same time which then leads to insomnia followed by long periods of needing to just collapse and sleep.

   Today is the first day in a long time where I feel like I am able to pull back the thick "fibro fog" curtain and feel semi functional.  I have been able to do some laundry and actually compose some coherent thoughts, which is a huge blessing and accomplishment unto itself.  The headache that I have had for 2 days is finally starting to settle down too.

   We are heading into at least a week long snow event starting within the next day or so where I will be homebound.  I do not like to travel on snow covered roads as it makes me extremely nervous.  I am hoping that Jeff and I can head into town later to do some last minute stocking up on a few things we need before then.  We just need a few basic items like milk, fresh veggies and plain yogurt.  Other than that, I am well stocked between my freezers and pantry.

   One of the hardest things to deal with when living with Fibromyalgia and/or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is the unpredictability of it.  You can feel semi normal one minute and the next you can be laid out flat.  Anything, and I mean anything, can trigger a flare.  Weather, other illnesses, lights, noises, smells, stress, or even taking one step too many are all factors.  I find that when my hubby's work schedule changes, like over the holidays, that can also trigger a bad flare.  We have had 2 weeks of changes with the holidays and that threw me way off.  We are finally back to his normal work schedule, but then we have this storm moving in so I am preparing for another bumpy ride. 😔

    I've been trying to make triple batches of many of our meals and freeze the extra portions to use when I just don't have the energy to cook.  For me, cooking is therapeutic and something that I really enjoy doing.  It is the last of the things that I can still do to make me feel "normal".  I show my love to people through feeding them, so this is very important to me.  Having those meals ready to go helps to alleviate some of the guilt I feel for being so ill.  And yes, even though I know this illness is not my fault, I still do feel guilt.  I have been working on that. 😉

   Anyway, I am off to shower (and praying that does not wear me out) so that I will be ready IF my hubby wants to make a trip into town today.  Be blessed!