I know that it is not officially Winter yet, but we have had some snow and I can feel the cold penetrating deep into my bones and muscles making me ache even more than my "normal". This year it seems to be affecting me more than it has in the past. I'm not sure why, but I am finding that I just cannot tolerate prolonged cold weather.
The corner of our couch next to the pellet stove has become my favorite place to sit all cuddled up under a warm fleece throw while I listen to Christmas carols with our cats keeping me company and providing me with a good "hand warmer" as I gently stroke their soft fur. They provide me with so much comfort and help calm me when I am feeling defeated by my illness and at other times they just remind that life really does have so many beautiful moments and simple pleasures that we will miss out on if we don't take the time to just sit quietly and appreciate them.
My energy levels have been low lately as I continue to process the traumas in my life that has lead me to this place that I am now health wise. I find myself "crashing" more often and go back and forth between not being able to sleep well for days on end and then falling apart at the seams and not being able to stay awake and having to spend the day in bed dozing on and off. Trying to still be there for my family has been my top priority and there are times when I cannot make that happen. I am blessed that they do understand that I am doing everything that I can to try to be there for them, but sometimes I have to cancel out on plans as I did this weekend when I crashed.
For now I will try and just cherish the times that I have been able to spend with them lately. Sharing a big family Thanksgiving together our family combined with Rachel's side of the family, including cousins, being there when Steven had his surgery to have tubes put in his ears, being able to hug and kiss on my two oldest grandsons Bradley and Isaiah, calling and surprising my mom on her birthday, sharing a long hug with our Heather and Chris, and watching Steven enjoy sledding in our front yard with Jaysn and Rachel. There have been phone calls with our Chris calling to check in and tell me about the progress on their new home, messages from our Josh, emails that have touched my heart from my mother, and visits from Rachel, Steven and Jaysn who are right here in town and stop by to see us often.
So yes, I have been taking time for me and stepping back from blogging while I work through things in my past and spend time with those I love most that are in my present. I do hope at some point to get back to posting on a more regular basis, but for now, I will give myself a much needed break and not feel guilty for taking care of me. Be blessed my friends and know that I really do appreciate each and every one of you and wish you all the most joyous holiday season. 😘