Monday, July 24, 2017

One of Those Days

 


   Today is one of those days where I could feel a Fibro Flare coming on before I even went to sleep last night.  I woke up this morning feeling like I had to play "Beat the Clock" before the flare got even bigger.  I set out to do the things that needed to be done and could not be put off for another day. Bread dough was made in the Kitchenaid and set out to rise in the bread pans and then potatoes were washed and gotten ready to pop in the oven to bake alongside the bread.  I then moved onto washing and bagging 3 quarts of raspberries so I could get those frozen.  Once I got that done, I headed out to the garden to harvest the dill (it was getting to the point where some of it was no longer good to use), get it washed and then do a quick dehydration of it in the microwave.  

   I got the bread and potatoes in the oven to bake and then went to take a shower.  My plan was to hang my hubby's work laundry out on the line when I was done with my shower.  By the time I crawled into the shower, I was aching.  I barely could lift my arms up to even shampoo my hair.  I knew I was in trouble.  Getting dressed was literally painful so I opted for the softest things that I could find.  Forget blowdrying and styling my hair.  A quick toweling it dry and a comb through was going to have to do.

   As I emerged from our bedroom, my sweet hubby took one look at me and knew...  He could see the way I was slowly moving and could see the pain written in my eyes and all over my body.  He could also see that I was on the verge of tears yet again.  Between the pain and the guilt of feeling so badly, I get teary when I am in a flare.  Bless his heart, he got my laundry out of the dryer and told me that he was just going to put his load in the dryer so that I did not have to worry about hanging it out on the line or going back out there later to get it off the line once it was dried.  He then got another load of laundry going for me.  I was able to fold my small load and then I headed to my recliner where I spent the next one and one half hours.  My sweet hubby also ran some things down to the library for me and picked up the mail before he had to head to bed for the afternoon.early evening since he has to go to work later tonight.

   After my rest in the recliner while I caught up reading some of my friends blogs, I had enough energy to go out to the front porch and deadhead and turn my potted geraniums and take a walk through the front veggie garden and the side veggie and fruit garden.  I also picked some raspberries before the heat got to me.  Jeff had been weeding the side garden earlier and got about half of it done.  God bless that man!  That was enough for me and I am now back in my recliner and suspect I will be here for a good long while until it is time to make dinner.

   My pain level is at about a 8 right now or in the "red zone".  It was even higher and worse earlier.  I truly despise feeling this way.  I had great plans to get lots done today and then rest tomorrow since I am supposed to go huckleberry picking on Wednesday and then we have our grandson Isaiah's birthday party and our volunteer work on Thursday.  I would bow out of Wednesday, but I have a friend coming with me.  At this rate though I may have to cancel...here comes that lovely guilt again.  If it come down to that or my grandson's birthday, I will go with birthday party all the way.  After all, you only turn 4 once and that is one thing that I refuse to miss out on!


   

   

12 comments:

  1. Hang in there my friend. Rest and take care.

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    1. Thank you. :) Jeff helped me make dinner and then we watched a TV show online. I think I will be heading to bed shortly after he leaves for work tonight. I'm going to take something to help me sleep tonight. Hopefully a good night's sleep will help me feel much better in the morning.

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  2. Dear Debbie,
    I have tears in my eyes. You did so very much even though you knew what was coming. I was amazed at what you were able to do. I can empathize with pain, I've had back pain and other pain through the years that has made life hard. Nothing like a Fibro Flare though.

    After reading what you did, I feel like I should be doing more, even though the cancer/chemo makes me so tired and sometimes ill. I will make an effort to use my spurts of energy more carefully.

    Your man is amazing. You are so blessed. I know. I've got one who has taken care of me through some rotten stuff.

    Now here's the thing. I feel guilty all the time over what I can't do. We both need to stop it. This is our life right now. We do what we can, where we are, with the energy and ability God has given us. The guilt doesn't come from God. So, I'm going to do my best to mentally kick guilt to the curb. Will you join me?

    Very gentle hugs to you!

    Laura of Harvest Lane Cottage

    Father God, I thank you that Debbie is a faithful blog friend. I thank you that she is a faithful wife and homemaker. Please bring relief from these symptoms and a cure for her. I plead the Blood of Jesus, shed at the whipping post for our healing and at the cross for our salvation, over Debbie. I pray this all in the name of Jesus. I ask you Holy Spirit to sing over her tonight. Give her a song in her heart and fill her with the peace that passes all understanding in Christ Jesus. Thank you Father God! Amen.

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    1. Oh Laura, now you have me in tears here too. You are so sweet my friend. (((((HUGS)))) With all that you are going through for you to care so deeply and pray for me touches my heart so deeply. YOu are in my prayers for total healing and for God's provision. You are right, we do need to try and stop feeling guilty. And Laura, you need to be careful not to try and do more. Your body needs all the energy it can get to help you beat this disease and heal. Please do not overdo it my friend. Again, thank you!

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  3. I am so sad that you're going through a flare. I know how disappointed and then angry I feel when I have to forgo plans that I've been looking forward to. It seems like my body is just rebelling for whatever reason and it's totally out of my control. Which it is. But I know this without reservation, I believe our God is fully and completely in charge of my life. I don't have to like it or understand the 'why' of what is going on in my life. But I trust that He does. And that brings me some comfort.
    So use that recliner and let your body rest. It's ok.
    And, btw, your hubby sounds like an angel.
    Cheers. SJ

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    1. Thank you my friend, I know you understand how I am feeling. And yes, my hubby is amazing...I am blessed. He even cooked dinner tonight after I showed him how to cook the chicken fried steaks. ;) I did end up cancelling out on huckleberry picking for tomorrow because today was another recliner day for me. The "foggy brain" kept me home today because I did not trust myself to drive, not even the few blocks down to the post office and it was way too hot to walk. On the plus side though, I met my goal at Swagbucks today! ;)

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  4. You were able to accomplish a lot while being under such pain and pressure to get it done. Your hubby sounds very compassionate and understanding; he's a jewel. Don't feel guilty; for whatever reason, this is what God gave you to deal with; it's not your fault. ((Hugs))

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  5. Good for you to stay in and be cozy in the recliner. Bonus to make your goals for Swagbucks. But I do know how hard it is to cancel on plans you've been looking forward to. Even after all these years, it's still hard on me as well.
    For me - went to see the sleep technician for my 2 week check up on my cpap. He was very encouraging with how I'm doing on it. I can't tell for sure if it's helping but I'm willing to do just about anything that might help. But just maybe it is - I did two things today. I haven't been able to do two things in one day for a long time - the sleep technician appointment and a hair cut. Then home. I'm tired but I don't feel sick. I'm hoping this is a break through. No gardens today or the next day or two. The building has some maintenance planned but no schedule for when it will be my turn. I'm just supposed to be available for the next two days. Tries my patience some times.
    Take good care. SJ

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    1. I am so happy for you that you were able to do 2 things today and not crash. That is wonderful my friend! I'm sure that the better sleep that you are getting is helping. That is the first thing that they say we need to do to heal our bodies from CFS and Fibro. :) I'm still working on the whole sleep thing and it has been interesting to see my sleep patterns charted for me with my fitbit. Sometimes it registers as me sleeping though when I am just sitting really still and relaxing. It did that last night when I was in my recliner and not moving much at all. Maybe they need to invent a fitbit for people like us who don't move a lot when we are in crash mode. ;)

      Today I was able to make a raspberry and jello salad for Isaiah's birthday party tomorrow, a tortellini and veggie salad, do the watering of the garden and run to the post office and library. I got dinner reheated for Jeff while he cleaned the kitchen and then went out to pick some raspberries. I got a few and then had to give up. The pain got to be too much. I called my sweet friend/hanai sister/neighbor and asked her if she would like to come and pick the rest for her family. She is coming over later to do that. :) She is an absolute Godsend to me and I love her dearly.

      Be blessed!

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  6. I'm sorry you had another flare up and felt guilty about what you were not able to do. I hope you are feeling better now. Is there anyone in the family or nearby who could come over and help you with some of the housework?

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    1. Hi BLess, my DIL Rachel would help me if I asked, but I really don't want to since she is busy with the baby.

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