Monday, February 20, 2017

Just Some Random Thoughts and Confessions

😉  I thought I would give you a peek into my somewhat random thoughts that go running through this sometimes clear and many times not, brain of mine.  Buckle up and I pray this comes out coherently.  My poor long suffering hubby is asleep right now so I can't run it by him before I post this.  He usually helps me find the right words when I cannot come up with them.  Gosh I love that man!

First confession...I am a mixture of "I don't care if I stay in jammies all day or about how I look" to "Oh goodness, I'm having a good hair day...we can't waste that.  Let's go somewhere since I actually look good today".  Hahaha!  Please tell me I am not the only one who functions at both ends of the spectrum. 

Second confession...I really love to read all the comments on my blog and to respond to them as well as read blogs of my friends and comment on them.  However, it may be days or even weeks sometimes before I am able to read and comment and I feel horribly guilty at times about that.  There are also times where I will read someone's blog and think I have commented on it, just to find out later I did not.  Well it's either that or my comment got lost somewhere in cyberspace which has been known to happen.  Sometimes this is due to me being really busy and sometimes, it is due to me not being able to even think clearly enough to concentrate on reading, blogging or commenting.  Please forgive me for this.  Lots of times it is the latter and there is nothing I can do to change my situation.

Third confession...I think I seriously need a 12 step program for my purse and scarf obsession.  I am getting better about the scarves (I don't need anymore since I have 4 boxes and baskets full plus a huge hanging rack full of them) and have not bought any in quite awhile but the purses still just call my name!  They sweetly whisper "buy me, you know you want to" as I walk by them.  I do switch them out the way one switches earrings to match an outfit but even after culling some this past Summer, I have brought even more in.  Thank goodness for thrift stores and cheap prices or my addiction would break the bank!  I added up the cost of the purses I got last week and if I had paid full retail price for all of them, it would have been well over $400.  I spent under $20.  See, I can justify that purchase. ;)  My family has given up on even trying to stop me from buying more...they know it is a lost cause but in my defense, I am getting better about really looking at the bags I am interested in and if I already have something similar, I am putting it back for someone else to find.  

Fourth confession...When I get really angry, I cry.  When I am super happy, I cry.  When I watch a parade, I cry.  When I hear bagpipes, I cry.  I am a very emotional person and when I am overwhelmed or overcome by good or bad things  I cry.  Now in the case of the bagpipes...well I blame that on my Scottish blood because dang it, they really stir something deep inside me. ;)

Fifth confession...I am an extremely loyal person and I have naively expected others to be the same way.  If you are my friend (or family), I will stand by you and go out of my way to help you through anything I can.  I have been blindsided more times than I want to even count by people who I thought were my friends (or again family) who just used me and then tossed me aside when they no longer had need of me or when they found that they could not control me.  The worst are the people who actually lied about things...stupid things.  I am now learning to be more selective about who I let into my "circle" and am walking away from relationships that are not working for me anymore.  It is called self love and valuing myself as a person.  It's taken me a long time to get here, but I am finally making good progress.  I feel so much better not having to worry about what those people may be doing or saying now because honestly it is a reflection on who they are, and not who I am.

Sixth confession, the older I get, the more of a homebody I am. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I dislike people in general, it's just that I am so uncomfortable in big crowds now.  I can strike up a conversation with just about anyone and am a very friendly person, but there is so much negativity out there and also lack of common courtesy that I find so maddening.  My patience level for hateful, mean spirited and obnoxious people is next to zero at this point in my life and it's better for me to just stay clear of them.  I am my mother's daughter and it is really hard for me to keep my own mouth shut when something or someone is really bothering me. ;)

Seventh confession...I can't stand the "Lawrence Welk Show".  My grandfather used to love it and make me watch it with him and my grandmother.  All I wanted to do was escape and read a book in the bedroom but he would not allow that.  He also would not allow me to read a book while the show was on.  Reading was the main way I "escaped" from things in my life when I was a child because it transported me into another place.  My grandfather did not understand that about me.  He also made me watch the nightly news with the gory pictures from the Vietnam war.  I was a young child then and was and still am haunted by those images.  He told me I needed to learn about the horrors of war.  It gave me nightmares!  He had family that was killed in the Holocaust and I'm sure he was just trying to make sure that I would be part of the generation to never let something that evil happen again.  He did not understand though that I was a child who was not yet mentally ready to deal with all of that.  I think I associate Lawrence Welk with the awful stuff on the news because they were back to back shows and about the controlling nature of my grandfather.  I  did love him, despite our rather tumultuous relationship, and when I became an adult we forged a very deep and close relationship, one that had been lacking in my childhood.

Eighth  confession...I am a serious weather and natural disaster freak!  I love weather reports and am fascinated by natural disasters.  I have always been this way.  Maybe it is because I grew up on an island with an active volcano that we used to go and watch and I saw first hand how the lava would just burn and cover anything in it's path.  Maybe it was having all those earthquake and tsunami drills in school and knowing that the ocean, while beautiful and life giving, could also wipe entire towns out as it had done in years past on the other side of the island I lived on.  Maybe it was the funnel clouds that formed over the ocean and ripped a path of destruction though our sleepy little fishing village.  Whatever it was, it has always fascinated me.   I think it is because it is something that is totally out of our control and something so powerful and beyond us.

Ninth confession...I must have a cat in my life!  I cannot function well without a cat in my home.  Cats have alway been a great source of comfort to me.  My grandmother recognized this and gave me 2 kittens during a very difficult period in my childhood.  We had cats in our home during my childhood from then on until we sold our home and were building a new one.  My mom made us give away our cat because we would be living in rentals and they did not allow cats.  Our dog went to live with our new neighbors who were also our contractors and were building our new home so we still got to see Plato about 4 times a week and once the house was finished he just trotted across the lawn to live with us again.  I did not cope well that year at all. As soon as we moved into the new house, we got cats again.  In college, my apartment did not allow pets, but there was a very friendly big tom cat that came to visit me on a daily basis and I loved him!  I bought a cat for my hubby for Father's Day when we were still just dating because he could have cats at his place. ;)  I think the most time I have been without a cat since we got married was 3 days.  Once was when we moved to Oregon and then again after our Daisy died and we had to wait to bring Doofy cat home after he got his last shots.  Is anyone else like this about dogs or cats?

Tenth confession...my husband and I are one of  "those couples."  You know, the ones that you see holding hands, always saying "I love you" to one another and hugging.  Our Rachel says we are "schmoopy".  LOL!  She says it is a very good thing. ;)  Both she and our Heather were not sure what to make of Jeff and I and our closeness because their parents did not have the same kind of outwardly affectionate relationship that Jeff and I share.  They have learned to love it though and are glad that we led by example and our sons are following their daddy's way of how to treat their own wives.

So there you have it.  Ten rather scattered confessions!  If you have been able to follow along, stuck with me and understand this then you get 10 brownie points for doing so! ;)  








32 comments:

  1. Great list Debbie!
    1st confession: I never have a good hair day, so I wouldn't know about wanting to be seen when I do.

    2nd confession: Sometimes I think I've already commented on others blogs and they feel really bad when I discovered that I hadn't, too. Also, if I discover a blog with no comments I always feel compelled to leave one because I remember how it felt when I started blogging and got my first comment.

    3rd confession: I hear you on the bags and scarves obsession. Almost bought another scarf today even though it was silk and the silk ones always slip off.

    I'll just skip down to the Lawrence Welk confession now: Hated that show also. I saw a rerun a while back and the entire crew was pretty mediocre when it came to talent. All the old people watched it when I was growing up and since they had control of the TV, it is what the family watched.

    We have a lot in common!
    Hugs
    Jane

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    1. LOL! Thanks Jane for listing some of your confessions too. Funny about the blogs without comments. I feel that way too. :) And what is it with Lawrence Welk? That shows seems to have irritated a lot of people in our age range. ;) Be blessed my friend!

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  2. We have so much in common! Who wants to waste a good hair day? It's cause for trip out of the house. Seems that when I make that quick trip in for milk is when I run into everyone I know. I can tell you that is not my good hair day! #6 Yes, home is my happy place. Especially if the whole family is here. I think #4&5 go hand in hand. Your heart is kind, loving and caring so you have that nurturing side which makes you a crier. Nothing wrong with that. I sometimes don't comment either. Bad, bad! It is usually because I am in a hurry or it is the end of day and my thought arent' clear enough. It was fun reading your list!

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    1. Oh Wendi, I giggled reading your comment. Why is it when we look our worst that we run into everyone? ;) I'm with you on family...it's what makes my home my happy and safe place. You are very sweet my friend and I am so glad that we met online through blogging. :) Be blessed!

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  3. Love your transparency and honesty Debbie, what a joy you have such a loving husband and soul friend... my husband and I love each other like that too. I love being a homebody, and I don't care for anything that is vulgar or has violent images, I prefer to think on things that produce fruit of the spirit like love, joy and peace! It is for that reason we don't have a TV in our home, and it is quite a wonderful thing. I also love cats, and dogs, and chickens too... they all bring a lot of joy into our lives :) Hugs to you today friend!

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    1. Marilyn, I am so happy to hear that you and your hubby are the same way. :) We do have a tv (well 2 actually) in our home but we limit what we and the grandkids watch. I love being able to watch some of the shows on PBS and have found that I have access through our Roku to a PBS channel based on the East Coast. I get the local PBS channels via our antenna on the TV in our bedroom. Since I have trouble sleeping at night, I will frequently crawl into bed and watch a show until I start dozing off. Our fur and feather babies bring such joy don't they? Be blessed!

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  4. This was a terrific post, Debbie! I loved learning more about you :)

    TheLawerence Welk part cracked me up, because I had a baby sitter that made me watch it instead of the muppet show. Mean woman! LOL

    xo,
    rue

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    1. Rue....your babysitter was a very mean woman indeed! I always thought watching that show was like the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard. Yes, it is that bad! ;)

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  5. Great post. Love that you and Jeff are 'one of those couples'. What a great example for your boys.
    The things that jump into my cart are dvds and books. I blame my lack of interest in clothes, purses and such on the nuns and being in a uniform for 14 yrs (preschool to 12th grade). The other thing that jumps in would be sales at the grocery store. I just can't seem to pass up a good sale and have a 'deep' pantry to prove it.
    I'm a crier too. Not so much when I'm angry, I just shut down then. But everything and anything on tv from commercials to shows.
    I miss my cats. They were one of my losses during the divorce. I understood at the time that I couldn't split the pair of cats. I ended up with the dog. He is such a joy and my everyday companion. I couldn't imagine my life without some animals in it.
    Again, great post. I really appreciate your effort in commenting here on your blog. It feels like a conversation and that's really nice. Hugs, SJ

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    1. HI SJ, I had no idea that you went to parochial schools. Books and movies are another one of those "problem areas" for me. ;) If I had my way we would have a huge built in library in our home. My hubby knows that is one of my dreams. :) And well, the whole good sale at the grocery store...yep, me too! I am sorry that you lost your cats in your divorce, that had to be so hard on you. I am glad that you still have your dog though to keep you company and brighten your day. Be blessed my friend!

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  6. Ha ha, I love this post!! I could relate to many of these! I also cry when I'm angry....or sad....or super happy. And at sappy movies. And the older I get, the more I hate crowds as well!

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    1. Most of us gals named Deborah (Debbie) that I know are criers...maybe it has something to do with our names? Did our mothers know something and name us that to fit our personalities or does this name come with an extra dose of emotions? ;) YOu know one of the reasons I fell so hard for my hubby is that he cried while we were watching a movie. I looked over and saw the tears running down his cheeks and though "now that is a real man, he is not afraid to show his true emotions." I knew right then I would marry him! Be blessed!

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  7. Good Afternoon, Debbie,

    I've so enjoyed this post! Like some of your other readers, we also share some common ground. Thanks for sharing your confessions.
    Blessings,
    Mrs.B

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    1. Hi Mrs. B :) It seems like the more we learn about each other, the more we have in common and that is a very good thing indeed. I hope you are staying warm on your homestead my friend!

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  8. Enjoyed reading your post, Debbie, and your "true confessions"! My parents and I used to watch the Lawrence Welk show (once we had access to a TV) and I'm afraid, I still watch the reruns, occasionally! :D

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    1. LOL! I'll "forgive you" for still watching Lawrence Welk. ;) It sounds like your memories of watching it with your parents are very good and treasured ones. I'm happy for you to have them. :)

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  9. Great post- it gave me a great insight into you as an individual. I have to confess that I just don't feel dressed unless my purse coordinates with some color in my outfit. I have friends who carry the same purse all the time-- not me--just one of my personal quirks. I also am a homebody-I can go days without leaving the house. Another confession-- if I never travelled further than Georgia--I would be perfectly happy and feel secure. My friends roll their eyes when I explain that I figure as long as I am in my home state then I can get back home if anything earthshattering occurs (BOB in vehicle makes me feel this is realistic). Final confession, I am the middle child and it has taken me to this point in my life (within the last 6 months) to overcome my middle child syndrome. If you aren't familiar with this-- we middle children feel like we have to keep the peace and solve all the problems in our family. Like your letting go of toxic relationships, I have let go of being responsible for everybody. Wish I had done this 30 years ago-- well better late than never. Now that I've shared all that, I think I'll get up see if I can find something sweet to eat. You made me crave a brownie- but alas none in the house.

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    1. Hi Delorise :) I used to carry the same purse all the time until I was able to find so many great ones at thrift stores and could afford them. It's like the flood gates of accessorizing opened up for me then. ;) Even though I am a homebody for the most part, I do enjoy traveling but when the weather is bad, I just want to hunker down and not venture more than an hour away from home. I have an emergency bag in my car at all times, just in case. I'm the oldest child and I had the same role in our family as you did in your's. My father was gone a lot for business so I took on the role of the second parent to my brothers. My mother and I had a running joke that my middle brother was her's and my baby brother (who was just 17 months younger than my middle brother) was mine. I was 7 years old when that started. I still have to be really careful not to try and "mother" my baby brother who is now a very successful businessman with Microsoft along with being a loving husband and great father. BTW, I don't have any brownies on hand, but I would be happy to share some cheesecake with you! ;)

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    2. Yeh being the eldest is no walk in the park. So many times the eldest has so much responsibility towards the other siblings. Glad your baby brother turned out great-- be sure to remind him that a lot of the credit goes to you. Oh I love cheesecake-- plain or with strawberries on top. I usually pick up some by Sara Lee when Publix has BOGO--they are so good. So enjoy your blog.

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    3. You are very sweet and I am glad you are enjoying my blog. :)

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  10. I've always hated Lawrence Welk! From the time it was current to now when they show the re-runs! Ha...my grandma loved it. When I was a young mom in the 1980's, sweat pants (running suits) became popular. I knew busy moms (with infants/toddlers) who would wear them as pj's and keep them on for the day's outfit. I grew up reading a lot of books...there was nothing else to do in my town once I outgrew playing in the woods and creeks by my house! I am more of a stoic person. I am a homebody for sure...I enjoyed your confessions! Andrea

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    1. Andrea, I was a young mom in the 80's also and it was all I could do to escape for a few minutes to even sneak a shower in. When my oldest son was a baby I would put him in his infant swing in the doorway of the bathroom while I showered since I had to get ready to go to work and my hubby did not get home from his job until right before I had to leave. Once the twins came along, I took a year off from working full time because those two did not sleep at night. ;) Your childhood sounds really nice having the woods and creek to play in. :) Be blessed!

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    1. You are welcome Chrissy! I hope you are having a great day!

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  12. Great post Debbie!
    My confession - I read your blog weekly - and enjoy it a lot - but haven't commented until now. Leaving a first impression in the comment section makes me most shy. This post made me laugh - I thought I was the only one who didn't care for Lawrence Welk. I started collecting a few handbags recently - I was pretty monogamous to one at any given time. Now, I change them weekly. Weird.
    hugs, Jen

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    1. Hi Jen! Thank you for reading my blog and commenting. :) I love meeting new friends. :) It seems like there are a lot of us here who are not so fond of Lawrence Welk. LOL! I'm glad you have been finding some new handbags...they are fun to change out. Be blessed!

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  13. My can't stand it program was Wild Wild West. My step grandma always made me watch it when I was over there in the summer. I couldn't even read either! My grandma and grandpa on my mom's side always let me read to my hearts content and grandma and I always made a big iron skillet of fried potatoes with bacon and onion in them for dinner when I stayed over. The two contrasts of those houses was like day and night. One with lots of money and rules - and furniture you could barely sit on and one filled with love and acceptance. I have a purse/bag addiction too. I love them and of course buy at thrift shops! I put my PJ's on by 6 or 7pm. As soon as I know I won't be going anywhere else for the day. I think I have a bigger collection of PJ's than any other clothing item. lol. Thanks for sharing with us. Take care.

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    1. Crystal, I had forgotten all about that show until you just mentioned it. It was not a favorite with me either. ;) The dinner you made with your grandmother sure sounds good! I'm glad I am not the only one with a purse addiction. I had to laugh at your pajama collection. I have one too. ;) I hope you had a great weekend!

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  14. Just stopping by to say Hi. We got snow Friday and again today, Sunday. Just enough to be annoying. ha!
    I came down with a flu bug Thursday morning. I came to even more of a 'stop' then normal and am feeling better. Will take it easy the next few days as I have a doctor's appointment Wednesday to get ready for. Maintenance.
    Anyway, just sayin' Hi. SJ

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    1. Hi SJ! I'm sorry you had the flu but I am glad you are feeling better. We have snow here also...it's been snowing today and will continue for the next few days. We have Isaiah here for the weekend and are having a wonderful time! Be blessed my friend!

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  15. Oh, the Lawrence Welk show...... Every Saturday night, us 3 girls watched it. We loved to watch the dancers, and see the pretty dresses. I don't especially want to watch it anymore, but it holds good memories from my childhood. My mom didn't believe that children should watch Saturday morning cartoons, so it was a big treat when Saturday night finally came and we could watch that.

    My husband and I were holding hands during church this morning. Mine also cries at the drop of a hat. He is a tender man and I appreciate how he treats me. You sound like your marriage is similar.

    Have a great evening!

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    1. Hi Becky :) I'm glad that show holds fond memories for you. :) I'm so glad you and your husband and mine are so much alike. We are blessed women. :)

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Thank you for taking time to comment on my blog posts. I really appreciate it and being able to get to know you through your comments. I hope you have a wonderful day!