Monday, August 1, 2022

Death in the Family




     My MIL passed away a little over the week ago and we found out by "accident".  For those of you who have read my blog for a long time, you know that our relationship with her, Jeff's siblings and his father had been strained for years and then it became nonexistent. 


   Despite all of this, it still hurts to learn of her death.  There are so many mixed emotions.  The game playing still has continued by certain parties and Jeff and I want no part of it.  My heart breaks for my husband, sons, and nieces, as well as for my FIL.  I feel bad that Jeff's siblings have lost their mother, and my heart goes out them, but based on their past behavior, Jeff wants nothing to do with them at this time.  I will support my husband in however he chooses to deal with this, and I will do the same for my sons.


   I'm trying to deal with my own emotions too.  They are all over the place including anger, hurt, feeling of past betrayal, pain and sorrow.  I was deeply hurt by her and it is something that sent me into a huge spiral of depression, and I hit the lowest point I ever have in my life emotionally.  Luckily my husband and my doctors were very supportive and got me the help that I needed through medication and counseling.  I am so thankful to them all.


   Anyway, that is why I have been absent.  thank you all for understanding.


16 comments:

  1. So sorry for the family loss. Loss is loss - and it still hurts. HUGS

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  2. Sending hugs and prayers. That's a huge life event -- take good care of yourself, Jeff and your kids and grands. BTW, I include your daughter-in-loves as your 'kids'.
    SJ in Vancouver BC

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  3. Praying for you, your husband and sons especially! Blessings . . .

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  4. Deepest sympathies to you, Jeff, and your family.

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  5. Never give anyone that much power over you. When you do,they control you.
    My parents were toxic people,child abusers,molesters.
    I understand your husbands walking away. I ran away at 14 to escape and
    Never went back. I'm 63 now and don't regret it. I found out my father died from a newspaper obituary. I felt nothing but relief.
    Some people are poison and you must save yourself .
    You have a loving family life.
    A nice home,garden.
    Enjoy the gifts God has given you and don't let those people steal your Peace.
    May God give your husband strength to get through these days.

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  6. I’m so sorry. Sadly we can relate to similar family drama. Just do what you can. Blogging will be here when you feel like it again

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  7. Deb,
    I am so sorry. Prayers and hugs!!!!!!!!

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  8. So very sorry. May God comfort you all. I know it is difficult to have such difficulties in family relationships. I have often said that no matter how badly I wanted to go back into the past and stop what had happened that I couldn't. It wasn't humanly possible. It would be the Lord Jesus that would change the meaning of what had happened. God bless you and may the future be brighter.

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  9. I am so sorry, give Jeff a hug for me.

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  10. Sorry for the loss. It's always especially sad when there is a riff in the family.

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  11. My own mother passed away two years ago. I was estranged from her for years due to childhood abuse and she took out a loan in my name while I was an adult using my social security number. I was not told she had passed, I found out by accident also, on Facebook. I asked my sister for childhood photos of me. Two years later, still no response. It is hard, even if you were estranged.....

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  12. No matter the estrangement, it still hurts as there is no chance for reconciliation, ever. So sorry for you all.

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  13. Someone told me this when my father died. He were not estranged but had a difficult relationship. No matter what your relationship is with your parents, it hurt when they are gone.

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  14. I'm sorry to hear that you're hurting, Debbie. I wish you peace as you work through all this. Even though you were not close to them recently, I'm sure to hear about it after the fact still hurts. Take care, my friend. Sandy

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  15. I am so sorry. Please fill your own basket in order to have the resources to care for others. Spouse first. Children/Grandchildren second. Siblings 3rd-if they matter at all. Then there are the rest. And those friends who you CHOOSE? Well they are up front of those who don't care about you!

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