Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Not Gonna Lie...

 


 



Yesterday was a horrible day pain and energy wise and I found myself either in my recliner or in bed.  I had a moment that really scared me when I realized that days like these are ones that find people totally giving up and spiraling into a deep depression only to try to find a quick way out. 😪😢  That realization was quickly met with "but there are better days ahead" in my mind and that I could not allow my mind to go to that dark place again...

   Today I woke up in pain (as usual), but my outlook was much better.  That is what I mean about there are better days ahead.  With this and other chronic illnesses, your health and energy levels, as well as your mental health, can change minute by minute.  You have to accept that there are going to be horrible days but also know that things can and will get better on other days.  It's like riding a rollercoaster for the first time and not knowing exactly what is ahead but also knowing there will be highs and lows and you just have to go with the ride and try to find enjoyment in it even though there are times when you are scared and want off!

   Yesterday I was not able to get anything done around the house, but today I can do a few things as long as I take breaks in between.  There is bread to be made (my KitchenAid does the mixing and kneading for me...I love that thing) and I also need to take a quick trip down to the library to drop off some things that are due today.  Speaking of which, I had better go and jump in the shower and get myself presentable so I can make it down there before they close.  Be blessed all!

15 comments:

  1. I just got home from an AA meeting where the topics were 'this too shall pass' and 'one day at a time'. Not always easy to remember when we're in the middle of a horrible day/night. Glad today was better when you woke up.
    Sending hugs and prayers.
    SJ
    PS. I found a new TV series at the library titled "Counter Part" that was interesting. A little +PG14 in places but other then that, a really good show.

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  2. I think I know a little of what you go through even though we are all different. My fibromyalgia has been acting up and then last Tue. I started having heart arrhythmias and the next 6 days were crazy. I started with shorter runs of only an hour or two then worked my way up to 14 hours and 18 hours from Thur. afternoon through to Sunday am. My heart was stuck in the 120's and when that happens you feel pretty yucky. Dizzy, light headed, chest discomfort, short of breath, panicky and weakness in arms and legs. I walked into a lot of walls and couldn't pull up words and was generally very scared. Got a hold of my heart Dr. and he checked me on Monday. Atrial Tachycardia. So now I have 5 different challenges with the rhythm of my heart. Usually my meds help and I have a pacemaker defibrillator if needed. So, scary and I have been extremely weak and exhausted since then. It's like exercising your heart for all those hours straight. I am wearing a monitor now so of course nothing is happening. lol. Figures. Anyway - sorry to go on and on but I know what you mean. I get so discouraged when something like this happens. Like I can't trust my own body and my independence is taken away. Right now I can't even drive or do much walking for a while. I then start seeing all I need to catch up on in the house. Luckily I have always tried to be on top of laundry and dishes. My husband works mostly from home so I feel safer when he is around. I know I need to simplify my routines more and get a handle on things like my office and more easy freezer and pantry meals made up or on hand. I guess we just need to honor our bodies and if we have a down day or days rest. Sometimes that's all we can do. Then do little bits and don't over do it on any given day. It will all be there tomorrow. Thank goodness we both seem to have understanding husbands to love and support us. Will pray for you and hope for better days ahead for you. I know how frustrating it is especially as you want to be there for family and friends. I seem to find out who my truely understanding friends are as a person with health challenges and need to cancel out on plans or do things differently we find who understands and accepts us as we are. The rest need to be educated and we need to understand that some don't or can't know what to do and that scares them. Anyway. My energy is very limited today so I have a few dishes to do and then rest. Just know that you are not alone and your family and friends want to be there for you. Take care.

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    1. Oh my goodness. That is scary! I'm praying for you my friend.

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  3. Just take it one day at a time. This too will pass, but I know when you are in pain that is hard to imagine.

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    1. Thanks...I am trying to do just that. Did you end up with a lot of snow down in the valley?

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  4. Take it minute by minute if you have to. Then hour by hour. You only have to get through right now. An hour from now will be different.

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  5. I can sure relate. Since Christmas, my FM has been in the worst flare since my major episode in 1998. Each day is a new day. If it's better than the previous day, that is good. I'm visiting your blog from canada.

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  6. I'm so glad your outlook improved! I know that taking it one day at a time is the best way (as you stated) for health issues and everyday troubles, too! I hope your health follows along and improves as well.

    We had a good day, today, and I don't take it for granted. I got to spend some time with a friend that I haven't seen for at least a year. It meant a lot to me.

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    1. I'm so glad you were able to spend time with your friend. :)

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  7. Just stopping by to let you know I was thinking and praying for you. Hope you are cozy by the pellet stove of yours with all your fur babies and hubs. We had a dusting of snow yesterday and more overnight. Today's high is supposed to be -1 C. It was -4 C when I got up and took the dog. He was NOT impressed, but he didn't linger, ha! More snow is coming Wednesday and Thursday and I'm going to cancel my Wed. doctor's appointment. There is no way I'm driving in morning traffic if there's even a hint of weather.
    I've been spending my time on genealogy research. Seems it's a hobby I can do, yea! And it's been fun staying in contact with cousins on both sides of my family. Also reading through a mystery series that's been quite fun about Beatrix Potter.
    Take good care of yourself,
    SJ

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  8. * should be 'took the dog out'
    Guess i should proof read before I post.
    SJ

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