Thursday, July 21, 2016
If You Can't Say Anything Nice....
Do you remember your parents or grandparents saying "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"? Or how about "Words are powerful, once spoken they cannot be unspoken"? Or "treat others the way that you would want to be treated" ? All of these phrases are actually lessons that we need to take to heart. I know that I was raised by these principles and so were my husband, our kids, and now our grandkids. Unfortunately, there are a few who, although they were raised being taught this, got an "F" on their lesson and wadded up the metaphorical paper and tossed it away, completely missing the trash can and not caring about how much garbage they leave in their wake. It hurts when friends or even strangers say hurtful things to or about us, but even more so when it is family.
Yesterday my husband was verbally assaulted not once but twice by one of his siblings. The venom, delusional lies and accusations that came out of this person's mouth while they were screaming at him in a public place were designed to cut and hurt him deeply. I have no idea how he was able to remain calm while trying to deescalate the situation but he was visibly shaken when he told me what happened. This person has a history of being cruel, but they took it to a whole new level, one that cannot ever be come back from.
The damage that was inflicted on my husband's gentle and kind heart is unimaginable. This is the man who was there for this sibling over and over again when others, even within their family, were not. He forgave them multiple times for their awful behavior, even when there has been no apology from them. They have lied about and slandered our family and tried to break up our marriage and destroy our relationship with my husband's parents. All of these things have taken a huge toll on us, but this...this time, it was just pure evil. When he reached out with love, concern and kindness, he was met with such unfathomable ugliness and cruelty.
My husband is hurting, my kids are in shock that anyone could do and say something so horrible to their own sibling, no matter how angry they may be, and I am trying to remain strong for my hubby and not let him see me cry. Last night I was just numb and could not believe what had just happened. Today, as I process it all, I am angry, hurt and to be totally honest feel pity for this person and their dark heart. Those hurtful and cruel words will forever be etched upon my husband's heart and in his mind. He didn't deserve to be treated this way....no one does.