Tuesday, September 1, 2020

I Realized I Need a Major Attitude Adjustment

      
Picture of the field fire when it had first started a few days ago.  It quickly spread and moved fast due to high winds.  Taken from up at our town graveyard.  Chris and other firefighters from all over our area were able to get it out despite the high winds and save a friend's home.



   Yesterday everything came to a head and I realized that something had to change.  Between my anxiety and yes, downright anger, at all that was going on in the world around me, I found myself becoming the worst part of me.  I was quickly becoming someone that I did not like, appreciate or even want to be around for any length of time.  I felt like I could either break into tears at any moment or snap at my husband who definitely did not deserve it.  It is not his fault that the world and our country is going down a very scary and dark path and it is not mine either.  Neither of us can control the wickedness of others who think it is perfectly fine and justified to hunt down and kill innocent people, burn and loot communities, and hold up rapists and people who commit horrible and violent crimes as "heros" while vilifying, shooting and otherwise attacking and trying to seal officers into a building with quick drying cement and burn them alive.  We also have no control over the selfishness of the college students who have returned to our area, and who's classes are all online, that are partying like crazy people, sharing covid-19 with each other and causing our infection rates to skyrocket.  Due to their behavior, businesses are having to go back to further restrictions once more and all the hard work that most of us have done for months and some businesses are having to shut their doors for good.  Yes, it makes me very angry, frustrated, sad, and depressed.  I had to come to a place where I realized that there is NOTHING that I can do to change any of this and all I can do is try to make my home as safe and calm as possible.  This is my haven and I have to create and see it as thus and not feel "trapped" here by forces outside of my control.

   I turned on YouTube and visited with some of my favorite vloggers to get inspiration and to help calm my troubled spirit and mind.  I find so many amazing people who are creating just what I long to...a peaceful and productive home.  I first visited The Elliott Homestaed. They actually live about 3 hours west of me and have created an amazing home life filled with gardens, farm animals, beautiful children, love, laughter, good food and have stripped their physical home back to the bones and returned it to a beautiful farmhouse once more after decades of remodeling which left if looking more cookie cutterish.  She inspired me to try making homemade herb salts and roasted cherry tomatoes preserved in olive oil this week.  I have everything I need here and was looking for ways to preserve our cherry tomatoes and herbs beyond just drying or freezing them.

   My next stops were to Girl in Calico and Fairland Cottage.  Both of these women focus on living a slower paced life and really taking in and appreciating every moment whether it be taking walks and gathering things from nature to decorate their home with, baking, working in their garden and preserving that harvest, or taking care of themselves by sitting down to a freshly brewed cup of tea and lighting a few candles and just "being still" for a while to rest and revive their souls.  Their videography is amazing and I find myself coming away from a "visit" with them much calmer and appreciative of all that I also have been blessed with and many ideas on how to implement some of the things they do to create their world that I can also do in mine.

   All of them inspired me to get out my beautiful planner that Heather got me for my birthday and start writing down recipes that I want to try, projects that I want to take on and also building in time for rest and relaxation.  I also made it a point to tell myself that due to my own limitations with age, health issues and such, that whatever I did not accomplish one day could wait until them next for the most part and not to let my lists and plans be so rigid that they could not be changed.  Life happens and I need to be able to roll with it and not be thrown by it if that makes any sense at all.

   This morning I got up way earlier than usual after very little sleep.  Midgy was sprinting up and down the halls and yowling at the top of her lungs.  She wanted attention and to be let out onto the screened in porch.  Instead of continuing to scold her in vain and hoping that she would finally calm down, I got up and let both cats out.  I made the decision to just stay up and start my day in hopes that I would be able to fall asleep earlier tonight.  Coffee was started and so was the first load of laundry.  I washed off the back porch table and chairs that were covered with dust and soot due to harvest and a big field fire we had a few hills over from us.  Once the coffee was done, I was able to sit down and enjoy the peacefulness and cool of the morning before the noise and heat of the day come on and start to take their toll on me.  I don't deal with either very well sadly.  I purposly did not look at my news feed on the computer, check in with facebook or anything like that.  I can do that later, but for now, I am going to finish my coffee while the second load of laundry is now in the washer and the first load is in the dryer and then get dressed for the day and head out into the gardens to do some harvesting before I start on my baking and some wonderful culinary projects.

   

   

23 comments:

  1. Pursue peace and cultivate it. 😊

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  2. I was stressed to the point of feeling fearful with the craziness of some people in our country. I came to the realization that I couldn't control anybody's actions but mine and stressing about it was only making me sick. I limit my exposure to the news and try to focus on having positivity in my life. Being prepared as much as I can for worse times and counting my blessings is giving me much needed peace. Praying daily for our country!!!

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    1. ((((HUGS)))) Good for you for limiting your exposure and for getting prepared and for counting your blessings. :)

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  3. You go girl. Same here. I have stopped the news - only watch the weather and then turn it off.
    Unfollowed several people on FB - because I am done with their negativity. Watching more fun You Tube (none of the nay-sayers). Started digging into the house and cleaning and getting rid of stuff and moving stuff around and my mood has changed 100%.
    We are what we feed ourselves, physically and mentally. Look out for number and turn off the NOISE!
    I pray continually for our President and our country and our citizens and the world. Hoping for the best - but I am prepared for the lesser.
    Hang in there.

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    1. It's hard when some of those people on social media who unfortunately bought into lies are family. However, I continue to make sure that they know that I love them and treat them with kindness. And you are so right about we are what we feed ourselves in every way. Praying here too!

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  4. Hello.
    I admire your decision and agree so very much.
    It is very easy to feel helpless and frustrated.
    I have quit watching the news.
    It makes me anxious.
    I have decided to do what I can. Create a happy, healthy, peaceful home for my family. Hugs!

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    1. Billie Jo, go and watch some of those channels I mentioned. They are such a nice break from all the ugliness in the world. :) Hugs to you too!

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  5. You're being honest about how you feel. This is on your way to dealing with feelings and emotions. Getting this out helps. Also you are being positive and doing something about it. This is a difficult time in life. When I go into stores I do wear a mask and shop as quickly as I can so I can return to my car and take the mask off. Blessings to you,
    d

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    1. Thank you Deanna. It does help to get it out and then to move on. ;) I do the same as you in stores and even avoid some places now with our cases continuing to rise daily. Blessings to you also!

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  6. Sometimes, an attitude adjustment is just what is needed. Other times, a change in perspective can help, too. I'm glad you are doing what you need to do to take care of yourself.

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    1. Your are so right my friend. Praying the fires this year stay way away from you.

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  7. I pretty much only watch our local news and just the tv when there are stories I don't want to hear. I was wondering what state do you live in, I'm in PA and our governor has done a pretty good job of slowing the numbers down. Over a month ago I spoke with my doctor to help with my anxiety and now I can ignore alot.

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    1. I'm glad you talked to your doctor and got some help...I am on medication to help with my anxiety too. I live in Washington state on the east side of the state.

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  8. I too had to turn off most of the news. I usually only watch when the provincial health officer is going to have a news cast.
    I have upped my quiet time by reading more in the Word every day. I found that even though my prayer life was robust, my time reading the Bible had fallen off. So now, the first thing I do in the morning is read a chapter in Proverbs that corresponds to the days date. So today, Sept 1, i read Proverbs 1. And I'm working my way through the Psalms.
    Take good care of yourself. Listen to your body - rest when its needed, drink water, do all those good self care things.
    Sending prayers,
    SJ in Vancouver BC

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    1. I hate to admit that I have not been digging into my bible lately. I need to follow your lead once more. ;) I overdid it today but was trying to get things done before the heat hits us hard starting tomorrow. Praying for you my dear friend!

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  9. Good for you! We all need to do what we can & not be so hard on ourselves.

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  10. My husband is a former new junkie who can't quite kick the habit. So MULTIPLES times of day I hear news reports or op eds about news. I am learning to be GRATEFUL for the lawnmower you tubes he watches. My preference would be to shut the tv off but if I have to choose then I'll choose mowers and weedeaters!
    Beyond the news, my life is pretty much what it's always been. I live in a rural area and I have never been a social person. I see my children who live locally (within 3 miles) and I shop mostly online but not to an excess.
    Like you, I am trying to find my way to a place of peace, trust and letting go of what I can't control. Some of these things are not national news but family issues to be dealt with, too. I do seek some solace and out and out escape in YouTube but again, not to an excess. There's still a life to be lived right here in the place where God has put me.
    I love your post today. It spoke volumes to me.

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    1. Thank you Terri! My husband watches bowling videos like crazy or "The Voice" videos. He does that on Youtube via our Roku on the big tv in the living room. I escape to our bedroom and watch my stuff on the computer. ;) Praying for your family issues to get better...I can relate to that so well. ((((HUGS)))) and yes, there is much life to be lived!

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